As It Goes
by Tears of Insanity
Summary: Raven and Robin struggle to rebuild their lives and family after his abrupt desertion years ago. The only problem? She's married to Garfield Logan now. RaeRob. Rated just in case. *Formerly "Will You Take Me Back?"*
1. Prologue

After a long talk with a newly found friend, I was inspired to begin writing again... My other stories will soon be deleted, I'm afraid, and that includes the unfinished 'Defeating Darkness'. Perhaps, someday, I will repost some of my stories(edited, of course), but no promises. Please don't be angry with me, I really couldn't help it, my style of writing and way of thinking has completely changed and I am nearly ashamed of my own writing.

With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this story!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Teen Titans. However, one thing about my thoughts has not changed: I am still intent on owning TT someday.

**Prologue**

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

It was mid-afternoon, and the clock was ticking, as usual. Many wouldn't realise that the little contraption people used to tell time not only spoke of passing time of day, bu passing time of life. Each time the long, red finger returned to the '12', another minutes of Raven's life passed by. And, no matter what, she would never be able to live that exact minute again. Yes, life was precious, not something to waste, but to Raven Roth, there was nearly no choice in the matter.

The Titans had long since broken up. She had been nearly 18 at the time, and now she was nearing the age of 22. In fact, in exactly 16 days would be the anniversary of the Titans' parting. Not only would it be the day of the Titans' parting, but also the day of Raven's son's birthday. Yes, Caden Jake Roth was born the day that the Titans split up. Though Raven would never tell it to her only child, the fact was, the majority of the Titans thought it was Caden's fault they split up.

I suppose you are curious, now, as to why it would be Caden's fault? Well, no one knows exactly. Except, perhaps, Richard Grayson. If you've ever heard of him, you probably heard him by thename 'Robin'. The Boy Wonder himself. Caden didn't know this, and Raven was never going to inform him if she had her way, but Richard Grayson was his father. When Caden was born, Richard left. Just like that. No note, no explanation, no hints as to why he would leave his girlfriend and child so abruptly, he just _did_. And that fact started the argument that led to Starfire's packing up and leaving to go back to Tamaran. Soon, Cyborg moved to the Titans East to be with his girlfriend, Karen(or Bumblebee). What happened to Beast Boy? He married Raven.

He was happy but, unfortunately, she was not. She married him because she needed help - She couldn't take care of a child alone at the age of 17. So, Beast Boy(known as 'Gar' at this point), who had apparently fallen in love with her, married her. But she didn't change her last name. No, she was still Raven Roth and her son was Caden Roth. The only other last name se would ever allow them to have was Grayson. She, however, didn't dare hope for that to happen. Richard dissappeared the day he left, and hadn't been seen since. Raven knew that his Godfather, Bruce Wayne(also known as Batman) knew something about his dissappearence, but she couldn't gather the courage to ask him.

So, the powerful young woman let the clock tick her life away, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Caden was in Kingergarden, and Gar was at work. Raven was employed, but today was her day off, and though she had no need to meditate any longer, the darkness of the room she currently sat in was comforting.

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

I hope you liked it! I'll update as soon I as I can, promise. Review if you want, doesn't matter to me. )


	2. The Discussion

Sorry it took me a few days to get this out, been kind of busy P I'm going off to Camp, so it will be a week at least until the next update most likely.. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

**The Discussion**

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Nine days went by. Nine slow, painstaking days. It was now merely a week until Caden's 4th birthday… Merely a week until the day that the Titans had gone off in separate directions.

The day started out fairly normal… Nothing unusual, nothing out of the ordinary. The clock continued to tick, tick, and tick some more, until Raven was sure that clocks were invented for the sole purpose of driving her insane.

Had nothing happened in the next few minutes, she surely would've thrown the annoying contraption out the door and left it for someone to come and pick up. But, the thing was, something _did_ happen. One might call it amazing, remarkable, miraculous, any of those words – But not Raven. No, to this young Goddess, it was the worst possible thing. This was weird, because if one knew her, they would say she would be delighted.

The doorbell had rung. No big deal, right? Wrong. When she opened the door, the slightly familiar face of Bruce Wayne was there to greet her. He looked different, however; he had changed in the past few years. The firm, intimidating look had been replaced by a worn, weighted one. His daringly perfect posture had slumped slightly, and his waist line was beginning to thicken. _Wow,_ Raven thought, _he really let himself go._

Then she realized something: Bruce Wayne was there. Standing in front of her… The Godfather of her child's father. "Yes?" she asked shortly. His voice was raspy; Not at all what she had expected, despite his looks.

"We need to talk," he replied simply. He walked in without being asked and Raven, trying to find some reason to get mad at him so that she could make him leave, tried to consider this rude.

"About what?" she asked, mentally cursing herself for letting so much curiosity escape into her voice. She didn't want him there – in her house. He didn't belong there.

"Richard," came the also very simple reply. Raven felt her fists clenched… It was odd, she had always loved him, but no one had ever mentioned his name to her before.

"What about him?" she snapped.

"I think…" Bruce paused for a moment. "I think he's coming back."

An awkward silence filled the house. Raven dated to interrupt it after a few minutes. "Why would you think that?" she asked.

"I know that you're aware of my knowledge of him." Bruce said, somewhat mysteriously. Raven gave him an odd look.

"What does that have to do with anything?" she inquired.

"You're not the teenager that couldn't be expected to handle anything, Raven. You're a young woman now… And it's high time you looked into Richard's disappearance."

"Is that all you came for? To tell me that?"

"No, dear child. I came here to inform you."

"Well, you're not doing a very good job."

"Patience, Raven, the explanation will come."

"I'm not any more patient than I was four years ago, Bruce."

"I figured not…"A small sigh escaped the aging man's lips. "Sit down."

Raven, again, gave him an odd look. This was her house – What was he doing telling her to sit down? Sighing and muttering something, Raven sat on the couch. He soon sat down next to her. "Well?" she asked.

"Promise me something before I tell you…" Bruce said, voice soft.

"What's the promise?" Raven asked skeptically.

"Promise me that no matter what you hear, you won't go looking for Richard… That you'll let him come to you."

"Alright, fine. Just tell me."

"A few months before he left, I held a discussion with Richard."

"About?"

"Shush, child, I'm explaining. We were talking about his future, about how everything was going to change. I asked him what he planned to do… But I received no answer." Bruce paused. "Later in the discussion, I found hints… Clues, if you will. I thought nothing of them, of course, until recently, when I kept going over it in my head. He mentioned Slade Wilson several times… As well as protection, and how he wouldn't rest until Slade was destroyed and/or defeated."

"So?" Raven asked quizzically.

"You see, Raven… By helping you to take care of Caden, and by living with you and such, it would be a form of resting… He wouldn't be able to do as much about Slade if he had two priorities instead of one."

Raven's face went slightly paler. "What?" she asked. Her voice matched it face; it was worn, disbelieving. He had left her for an obsession? No… Robin would never do that do her…

"Look, I'm sure he didn't mean it as it sounded," Bruce said, in an attempt at comforting her. "He did it more to protect you… To help you…"

"To help me?" Raven's voice was trembling with rage she hadn't felt since she was 17. "Didn't it ever cross his mind that I needed help raising the child that _he_ was responsible for in the first place? And he could protect me a lot better if he were actually with me."

"Please try to understand…" Bruce sighed. "He didn't want Slade so close to you…"

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Raven asked abruptly, standing up. "I'm married now. I love Gar. And Caden."

"Do you really?" Bruce asked knowingly. "Can you look into my eyes and say that you'll ever love Mr. Logan as more than a friend? If my Godchild comes back, would you take him back?"

"No," Raven said, fuming. "No, I wouldn't. Even if I don't love him…" Raven paused, looking about to let tears spill. "Even if I don't love him, who was there to help me through everything? Who raised my son? When he scraped his knee, who brought him out for ice cream to make him feel better? Not Richard. Gar did."

"Raven, please-"

"Who does Caden call his father?" Raven asked, her voice now lost of all emotion.

Bruce now went pale. "Gar," he said softly. "He calls Gar his father... But should he?"

"Yes, he should, because no matter who his biological father is, Garfield Logan is the only one who ever acted like it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very tight schedule and I would prefer it if you would leave."

A large sigh came from Bruce as he nodded. "I am sorry to hear your thoughts," he said honestly. "But I cannot change the broken heart of a young woman, and I can't say that what Richard did was wrong. Till next time." With that, Bruce was off, leaving Raven to stare at the wall, deep in thought.


	3. I'm Back

Alrighty, I must admit, some of the reviews concerned me...

_So_, I would like to clarify a couple of things:

Number one: BB and Rae aren't really a couple... They're married, but there's nothing really holding the marriage together.

Number two: Raven is not pregnant... If I mentioned that in a chapter, sorry for the confusion, but I don't believe I did...

Well, I hope that cleared some things up for you all! Now, on with the story!

Disclaimer: No Teen Titans are under my ownership.

**I'm Back**

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

He had returned.

Robin, now known as Nightwing, was back in Jump City. He walked through the streets as though he were in normal clothes instead of his costume. He had dropped the whole traffic light costume; Now he wore a tight black suit with a blue bird on th chest. His mask was different, too. No longer was it just two half ovals, meeting with a simple curve on the top and bottom in the center. Now, it was more like two slanted rectangles, with bird-like wings at either side.

He received many stares, but he didn't mind; He knew where he was going and if it took him a year of merely walking, he was going to get there.

Yes, he was searching for Raven. He knew where she and Caden lived - The only problem was that he didn't know about Gar. Bruce hadn't told him when he called and asked for Raven's address.

With each footstep, he was getting closer; The excitement grew quickly inside of him. Finally, he was going to see his Raven.

Slade wasn't destroyed, however. Nightwing merely needed a break from it... He had to see her. He had to know that she and Caden were alright, and he felt he had to explain why he left. It had been eating at him since the day he left, and he couldn't help but cave in.

There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that she would welcome him back with open arms. She would be thrilled, he knew it. She would hug and kiss him and it would be as though he never left, and when he would leave again, she would know why and tell him that she would wait for him. He had it all planned out in his head...

However, when he reached the house, he had no clue what he would find inside. He knocked on the door lightly, and Raven answered.

For a moment, everything was still. She was just staring at him. Then, suddenly, she shut the door in his face.

Nightwing frowned - Perhaps she didn't recognize him? He shrugged. That had to be it. He removed his mask and knocked again.

She opened it again. Her face drained of most color when she saw him with his mask off. However, it didn't break the heavy glare she was giving him. She slapped him hard across the face.

He gasped slightly, and for more than one reason. The first reason? Raven still had a good hand to slap with; it added a sharp sting. He knew it would leave a mark... The second reason was that, to his surprise, she was obviously still training. How else could she acquire such a fierce hand? The third reason hit him last, and stung far worse than the slap... Raven was angry with him. By the looks of it, she was quite angry at that. "Raven..." he said softly.

Raven didn't reply, just glared.

Nightwing felt his face growing hot... What was he supposed to do? "Raven?" he asked softly. "Can I, err, come in?"

Wordlessly, she opened the door. Caden came running over quickly. "_Mommy_! Who he?" the cute, young child asked.

"Just an old friend," Raven said, offering a small smile to him. She sent him up to his room for a few minutes.

Nightwing felt a sudden pang in his heart... Why hadn't she told him that he was his father? Seeming to read his face (or his thoughts), Raven said sharply, "If you tell him, I'll kill you."

"Why doesn't he know?" Nightwing choked out.

"He has a father, he doesn't need another one," Raven answered simply. Nightwing felt slightly relieved, thinking that _he_ was the one father and that she was inferring that she wouldn't marry anyone else. But... That wouldn't make a sensible answer to his question, he realized, and if he knew Raven, which he did, she was always sensible.

"Huh?" he asked, confused.

"I'm married, Richard," Raven said. "You left both of our lives, and I don't intend on having you enter his life again. Oh, wait, you never really entered his, did you?" Her voice was icy, yet she somehow held an emotionless face and an aura of serenity still surrounded her.

Nightwing stared at her in disbelief. This wasn't going right at all. He cringed at her words... He knew she was right, and was not very happy about it. "Raven, I had a reason..."

"Oh, yes, how could I have forgotten?" Her tone was the same as it had been before. "You went off to fight Slade, right? Who cares about your girlfriend and child when Slade is around?"

"That's not true!" Nightwing said with a sudden rush of fury. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her against a wall. "I-"

"Mommy?" It was hardly a whisper. Caden was standing at the stairs, watching. He ran quickly over and began punching Nightwing's back. Nightwing stared, horrified. Raven took this chance to push him off of her.

In a deadly voice, she murmured, "Get out of my house."

Nightwing just stared at her. Caden had stopped punching and was clutching hard onto Raven's leg. He had totally messed it up - And his first meeting with Raven in years! With a defeated sigh, he growled something under his breath and left, slamming the door behind him.

Raven watched him leave. She looked mournful, yet satisfied. Part of her body urged her to run out and catch him, knowing that if he left now, she may never see him again. However, the other part reminded her of what he did to her, and how it would affect her family if she let him back in. With a scowl, she took Caden up to his room to play with him, suddenly feeling the need to fill in the gap that had been left in his life since his father wasn't there to do it.


	4. We're Leaving

Sorry for the long wait - I've been kinda really busy. And lazy. Yes, yes, very lazy... lol... Anyway, I hope you guys don't hate me and enjoy the chapter! 

Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Teen Titans. 

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣ 

Gar was confused. 

Not the kind of confused where you don't get what someone was saying, but the kind of confused when a girl is having emotional problems and she won't tell you about them, so you get confused. 

Raven hadn't been speaking all night. Gar had come home from work, kissed her cheek, and said his usual, "Hey, Love." But Raven didn't reply. She had winced at the word 'love' and wouldn't answer his questions. The night was similar, until later that night, after dinner. 

"Can I sleep with you?" Caden had asked his mother and Gar, sticking his lower lip out. 

"Honey, you have your own room. Why do you want to sleep with us?" Gar questioned. 

"I'm scared." 

"Of what?" 

"Daddy, a big scary man came. He hurt Mommy!" 

At this point, Raven stood up and walked out of the room. Gar shot her a look that held a mix of emotions. Not knowing what to say, he looked back at Caden. "What?" 

"I hit him and made him go away," Caden said proudly. 

"Go upstairs and play for a while..." Gar said slowly. Caden pouted for a minute and then did as he said. 

Once he was gone, Gar walked over to the bathroom door where Raven had locked herself in. She sat on the floor by the sink, leaning her head against the wall. 

"Raven?" Gar asked slowly. "Come out of there. We need to talk." 

He heard Raven stand up. "No." No... What a simple reply for something that could take forever to explain. 

"Raven!" Gar's voice was no longer concerned or pleading, it was rough and rather accusing. "As your husband I have a right to know what went on in my house." 

"It's our house, not your house." Raven countered somewhat angrily. 

"Who was here?" Gar asked. 

"You really want to know?" Raven asked, tone unreadable. 

"Yes, I do." 

"Your good old friend Robin came for a visit," came the sharp reply. She opened the door and walked passed him swiftly. 

Gar stood there, dumbfounded, for a moment. He quickly gathered his thoughts and followed her, though she was already upstairs getting Caden. "What are you doing?" 

"Caden and I are going to go away for a while." 

"You can't leave me! Raven, we're _married_." 

"You think I don't already know that?" Raven snapped. "We'll be back." 

"Where are you going?" 

"Maybe I'll tell you when we get back." Raven went into their room without waiting for a reply and began packing things in two suitcases. 

"I don't believe this," Gar growled, going back downstairs and grabbing his jacket. He took one of the cars and left for the night. 

Raven ignored him and got out a pair of smaller suitcases for Caden. She quickly began packing his stuff as well. "Where're we going, Mommy?" Caden asked, his face innocent and full of curiousity. 

"We're just going away for a little while," Raven said, managing a small smile for him. 

"What about Daddy?" 

"Daddy is going to stay here so that he can make sure everything is alright." 

"Okay." 

Raven finished packing and immediately took the three suitcases and put them in the back of the other car. She buckled Caden into the back seat and then sat down in front of the wheel, cruising out of the driveway and onto the road. 

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣ 

I hope you liked the chapter, review if you want! Lots of thanks to my current reviewers - 28 with only 3 chapters! You guys rock. P 

♥Tears of Insanity 

Oh, and thanks to my new beta, Mind Shadow! He said I didn't have to say that, but I did anyway. -sticks out tongue- 


	5. Consequences

Hey guys! I am SO sorry it took so long for me to update. My life has been a mess. Thanks for all of the reviews - I'm thrilled! You guys are so awesome. So, anyway... Let's see where my fingers take us today, shall we?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

They had been driving for hours.

Caden was asleep in the back of the car, and Raven was yawning herself to sleep as she drove, thinking about the day's events. For some reason, she was having a terrible time digesting what had happened... But then, she reasoned with herself, there was nothing wrong with that. It was natural.

Raven gently slowed the car down, approaching a red light. She felt absolutely terrible about Gar - how could she not? With every word she recalled having said to him that day, she flinched or grimaced. _I was heartless,_ she admitted, _but what else was I supposed to do? I had no choice._ She tilted the mirror to look at Caden. _Still asleep. We'd better call it a night._

She drove on and stopped at the next exit, sighing as she parked the car in the hotel parking lot. She got up and stretched her legs, then opened the back door and slowly began unstrapping Caden. Thank God he wasn't awake yet, because as soon as she got to the second buckle, someone put their hand on her shoulder.

She had to make a split-second decision - scream, and wake up Caden, or turn and face the opposing person. It should come as no surprise that she chose the latter. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she whipped around, keeping her body between this new person and her sleeping son in the van.

Raven brought up her arm in automatic defense against his own, which was still on her left shoulder. He was quicker, though, and caught her other hand. For the first time, she looked up at the face of her attacker, and then muttered a string of profanities. "Richard," she hissed. "Let go of me. Now."

Though her voice was carefully controlled, her expression was livid. The rest of her body, though, defied her serene, furious aura. She was already responding to his touch - a tremor ran down her back. A delayed reaction, she assured herself, to the shock of seeing him.

"We need to talk," he growled. In the hours since Raven had kicked him out of her house, he had gone half-mad. Richard had followed her here in his new, stealthy black mercedes, and he wasn't going to stop until she, at the very least, looking at him with something other than anger in his eyes.

"No," she said curtly, without even pausing to think. "I've moved on, Richard. I'm not a 17 year old anymore, desperate for love and attention. If you had stayed," her voice quieted, "things would be different. But you didn't, and it's your own fault. Learn to deal with the consequences of your actions, _Robin_."

He unknowingly began to squeeze her arm harder. "No, damn it! This isn't how it was supposed to be. You weren't -" He cut off mid-sentence when a look of pain crossed her face, and then cursed as he let go of her arm. Several small red bruises were starting to appear on the creamy skin of her forearm.

"Go," she said quietly. "Go, and don't come back. Caden needs to go to bed. You can at least respect your own son's needs. Or haven't you acknowledged, yet, that having a son has consequences, too? I suppose you wouldn't, though, would you?"

He just stared at her, stung by her words. It took him a few minutes to gather his thoughts. "Alright, then," he muttered. "We'll take him... Caden... inside, and then we'll talk."

"I don't plan on spending the night with you, Richard. I'm a married woman."

"No one else knows that," he muttered. "We can sleep in seperate beds."

"Seperate rooms," Raven protested. He laughed darkly.

"I've not become an idiot in the past for years, Rae, and I don't want to have to break down your door because you've decided to lock me out."

"I do have powers still, you know," she reminded him flatly.

"Would you dare use them, though, and show everyone who you really are? Everyone knows, I imagine, that Raven Roth is married to Garfield Logan."

Raven chose not to comment on that, and finished unbuckling Caden. She lifted the little boy into her arms, and he wrapped his arms around his neck. "At least be of some use and get the bags, Boy Blunder," she growled at him. Without a second thought, she shut the door and walked into the hotel.

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Wow, it's been a really, really long time since I've updated. I'm SO sorry, guys! I'm really in the writing mood right now, though, so I might get another chapter out tonight or tomorrow.

Thanks,

Tears of Insanity


	6. Life Isn't a Fairytale

Hey, guys. Back for another chapter! Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans.

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Raven didn't realize just how exhausted she was until she got into the hotel room, and had settled Caden down. She yawned and leaned back on a chair which she was temporarily resting in. Closing her eyes, she tried to imagine she was at home, and none of this had happened...

Richard watched her, trying very, very hard not to feel guilty. It wasn't working in the least.

He was putting stress on her, he knew. He also knew it was selfish of him... But he just couldn't give up. He refused to let go of her, no matter what he had to do to hold on.

Raven quickly became aware of his eyes on her, and opened her own, standing up. "I'm going to take a shower and get ready for bed," she said flatly. "If you want to talk, talk to me after that."

She didn't give him time to protest - she grabbed her bag and slipped into the bathroom.

A good half hour went by, in which time she took a shower, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, and changed into her black silk spaghetti-strap top and gray sweats for bed.

She left the bathroom and sat in a chair at a small desk, waiting expectantly for Richard to start speaking. For a long while, he said nothing, staring intently at the wall behind her as he thought. Just as she was about to announce that she was going to bed, he began.

"I want to know," he murmured, "why you won't let me back. The truth."

She glowered at him. "The reason, above all, is what it would do to Caden. How the hell am I supposed to explain to a 4 year old boy that his father isn't actually his father, and that you are?"

His temper rose. "That shouldn't be a problem - you should tell him anyway! I have a right to him, you know. What if I decided to fight for custody?"

The color completely drained from her face, and she looked so washed-out that Richard expierienced a moment of panic, thinking she would surely pass out. "No, I didn't mean that," he said quickly.

"You can't do that," she whispered faintly. "You can't do that... I won't let you..."

He stood up to move towards her, and she flinched backwards. Richard sat back, mentally cursing himself with words that no person should know. "I won't, I'm sorry, that was wrong," he assured her swiftly. She said nothing. "The second reason?"

Raven took a long time to compose herself, fighting back several shivers. "I'm married," she finally muttered. "Gar was good to me. I can't... I couldn't do that to him. He deserves more than that."

"So do you," he told her fervently. "You should be happy. He'd want you to be happy. You'll be happy with me."

Her laugh was chilling. "Will I, now? I'm sure I'll be absolutely thrilled every time you decide to go searching for some new villain, and disappear for a few years. We'll be the happiest couple in Jump City, won't we?"

Richard had no answer to that, so he didn't respond to it. "Is there another reason?" he wondered instead.

Her expression hardened. "Yes, there is."

"Tell me it, then."

"Because I hate you."

He studied her for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, you don't, and you know you don't. Do not lie to me."

"I want to hate you," she snapped.

"But you don't. You love me." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, I suppose I still do. But the fact is, you left me - you left _us._ And I don't forgive you for that. Life isn't like a fairytale, Richard. Love can't triumph over everything, and I refuse to hurt people just to accomodate your wishes for a few months every decade." Her voice was firm, and unwavering in its statement. She spoke the truth, no matter how much it hurt.

"I'm not satisfied with that," he told her simply.

"I know you aren't, but in a few days you'll be off after Slade again, and your duty will be all that matters. Our values have shifted, Robin," she said softly. "You're still a crime-fighting hero, same as you were 4 years ago... But I'm not. I have responsibilities now, as an employee, a wife, and, most of all, a mother. I can't do everything I want to anymore. I have to think of others now."

He scowled and opened his mouth to retort, but she shook her head. "No," she murmured. "Go to bed."

Neither said another word, as Raven slipped into bed beside Caden and Richard took up the other bed.

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Second chapter in a night - I'm pretty excited. I hope you guys liked this one - I apologize if it seemed kind of rushed. You know what to do - hit the purple button and give me your opinion!

Thanks,

Tears of Insanity


	7. Sickness

Okay, so here we go.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

**Sickness**

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

That night, Raven dreamt. Well, no, dreamt is the wrong word - more like, she had nightmares. They were odd and mismatched and, at the same time, she felt sick but too exhausted to get up. She was freezing but sweat coated her body, and, despite her efforts and the knowledge somewhere in the back of her mind that Caden was somewhere near, the screams prompted by her spinning mind managed to bubble to her lips.

Suddenly there was a small, ice-cold hand on her cheek. She stifled a yelp - at least, she thought she did. She couldn't be sure. Somewhere far away, someone was screaming, "Mommy!", and Raven wanted nothing more to scream back, "BE QUIET!" If her head would stop pounding, maybe she could...

The hand disappeared and there were several low words spoken that she couldn't make out. A weight moved off the bed and there was scampering across the floor as Caden moved away somewhere, only to be replaced by a weight along the edge of the bed somewhere. More words, this time some kind of shouting. She moaned and tried to sit up, only to have another pair of larger but still-cold hands gently hold her in place.

For an immeasurable amount of time, she seemed to black out. She resurfaced what she thought was hours later - though only several minutes had actually gone by - when something cold, wet, and soft was placed on her forehead. Raven mentally swore, trying to shout that she was going to get a brain freeze, but no sound came out from her lips and she couldn't even tell if she had opened them.

Slowly, her headache changed into something that was more dull and less loud. With it now spread out across her head instead of centered and sharp, she could think easier. Gently, Raven's eyes flicked open and she looked to see Caden sitting on a chair in the corner with wide eyes. A further inspection revealed Richard - Nightwing, damn it - sitting next to her, holding some long box and glaring at the instructions.

Raven opened her mouth once more to speak. She made a little sigh-like sound, but still couldn't manage to form the words. Still, it was enough to gather Richard's attention and he looked up in surprise and then concern. He fumbled with the box, looking back down, and got it open.

_Ah,_ Raven mentally nodded, _a thermometer._ Richard held it up and, for a moment, she hesitated to open her mouth. Several seconds went by before hints of alarm touched Richard's face - clearly, he was wondering if she actually could open her mouth any more. Too exhausted and sick to think on it or take advantage of the position, she obeyed and allowed him to stick the metal tip underneath her tongue. She closed her mouth as well as her eyes and waited for the _beep_ that would announce her temperature.

The _beep_ had just barely sounded when a low but foul expletive escaped Richard's lips. Helplessly, he tilted the screen of the small contraption so that she could see it, as if asking what he should do. For a moment, Raven stared at it blankly. In bold black numbers, it read _103.7_ against the tan background. Briefly, she wondered if she should even be concious at that point. Didn't matter, she decided - she was anyway.

Indecision flickered across Richard's face and, all of the sudden, Raven's stomach seem to be trying to tie itself in a knot - a less-than-painless action. _Dehydration._ The word flashed across her mind the way it does when you watch a game show and know the answer, even while you're furiously willing the other person to figure it out. _You're dehydrated._ It made sense - when was the last time she'd drinken anything? The night before, at dinner... And now, with a high temperature, it probably made it worse. She flinched and squirmed and slowly curled herself into a ball, ignoring the panicked cries from her son as he grabbed her arm and yanked at it, pleading with her to lay down normally again.

The next part passed in a blue. She wasn't sure if she had passed out or didn't remember or just wasn't paying attention, but either way, she ended up on top of her blankets with ice packs and cold, wet rags all over her body.

She stayed that way, never once moving, for several hours. It was roughly 2:00 before any rational thought returned to her mind, but her brain was foggy and her whole body seemed hot and hurt. Twice more, Richard had taken her temperature - the second time it had been _103.5_, but at the most recent check, roughly half an hour ago, it had shifted down to _100.3_. Deciding that since she wasn't on her deathbed it was her responsibility to take control of things, she tried to sit upright. After several attempts, Richard emotionlessly lifted her, resting her back against the wooden frame of the bed.

Raven turned to face him, keeping her eyes coolly blank. "I have to go now," she informed him flatly, her voice scratchy. "Caden and I have somewhere we need to be."

"Not like that, you don't." His response was collected and casual, as though he was discussing the weather. "And, even if you were able to even move on your own-" at this, she sent him a pointed look, "-I'd still go with you. You're in no condition to protect yourself, or the boy. In addition, I find it hard to believe that you actually have a planned place you're going to. Come on, Rae, aren't we old enough now to be past all of the games and deceit?"

She stared at him for a moment before softly countering, "You tell me."

A tick in his lower jaw was the only thing that gave away his frustration. "I'm not going to comment on that, because you already know what I'd say. But since you're so intent on being _honest_, where are we going?"

"_Caden and I_ are going for a ride. The exact place is of no concern to you. I'm sure Slade is on the move - don't you think you ought to go after him? It would save us both some trouble." Raven's voice was so chilling that, for a moment, Richard was rendered speechless.

"It..." he trailed off softly before worked up his voice and beginning again. "It wasn't like that and you know it. If you'd stop throwing around accusations and let me explain, you'd understand that I-"

"-had to?" she cut him off wryly. "I don't need - nor do I want - your explanation. What's done is done. You chose your path and I chose mine. Stop brooding over it and chasing after something that disappeared years ago... You still have work to do."

"And part of it involves fixing up what I destroyed."

"You're not hearing me correctly, Richard. It doesn't need fixing - it's perfect the way it is. Gar and I are happy. Caden is happy. You messed up... Did you really expect life to freeze for you? Did you think that I'd still be 17 when you came back, with a baby for us to happily raise together? I hate to break it to you, but it didn't work out that way."

"You'd be happier with me. So would he." Richard nodded to the kid. "He deserves to know who his real-"

"-Say it and you're dead." The threat wasn't idle. "He doesn't know who you are, and it's damn well going to stay that way. You had no reason - no right - to leave when you did. When are you going to accept that?"

His jaw hardened. "God forbid anyone ever tries to apologize, Raven. It might ruin your so-carefully-thought-out assumptions." With that, he turned and walked out into the hall to do God-knew-what.

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Ta da! Hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to review.

Thanks,

Tears of Insanity


	8. Burning

**Author's Note:** As I'm sure most of you have already seen, I've recently posted a Valentine's Day one-shot. At the top are the details for a V-day challenge - I encourage all of you to participate! I'd love to read what you have to writte, and each one of you has brilliant potential. Who knows - maybe you'll even win. I would very much enjoy writing a piece for you.

I'm not going to lie; I don't know how much I'll be able to update for the next few weeks. School is rough and my dog was recently taken from me, which, to put lightly, I am not taking very well. (No worries, though - I'm getting him back in about a year and a half.) That isn't to say I've stopped writing, though. On the contrary - I still very much love it and I doubt I'll ever stop.

With that out of the way, here's the next chapter.

**Burning**

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Richard went with them.

Right up until they got to the car door, Raven argued and threatened and did everything she could to keep him from coming. Being just as stubborn as she was, he didn't listen. Unfortunately, she was too sick to keep any of her threats.

He'd even tried to _carry_ her out to the car. Now, she might have been a little weak, but that didn't mean she lacked the ability to kick him where it hurt. And, as Richard found out, it _really did hurt._

As Raven strapped Caden into her car seat from the passenger side in the front - he wouldn't let her drive her own car! - she experienced a moment of panic. She didn't know where she was going and, even if she figured it out, suppose Richard had other plans? She could fight him, if it came down to it, but she didn't want to if it could be avoided.

"Where we goin', Mommy?" Caden asked through a yawn.

"Don't worry about it, honey. I'll let you know when we get there, okay?" Raven's voice was softer now, and some of her anger evaporated. In this moment, at the very least, she was merely a mother. Nothing more.

Another yawn escaped the little boy's lips before he replied. "Who's the big man?" he wondered.

"An old friend," she explained, casting a dirty look at the one being spoken of. He was currently loading the luggage into the back, and if he noticed, he didn't comment.

"Oh." He paused. "Does Daddy know him?"

At this, Richard visably flinched. Raven couldn't help but feel smug - he needed to hear that. Needed to be hurt. Caden was as much Richard's son as Raven was his wife, she decided, and understanding that was vital.

"Yes," Raven informed him. "Daddy doesn't like him much, though. Neither does Mommy."

Caden shot a confused but suspicious look at Richard, whose face was now impassive. His eyes were hard and he stared right at Raven as he got into the driver's seat. If she wanted to play that way... Well, he'd figure out how to play, too.

"Caden doesn't like him, either," the child finally decided. He turned to look at his mother. "C'we go home, now? I don't wanna go."

Raven's smile abruptly changed from natural to forced. "No, baby," she crooned softly. "We have a while yet to go. Sleep, now," she added, before he could ask any further questions.

Apparently eager to comply, Caden was asleep within minutes, leaving Richard in Raven in tense silence.

"He has a right to know," Richard finally said flatly, not looking away from the road. "He's my son, damn it. I'm his father. I may not have been here, but that doesn't mean I don't care for him just as much as you do."

Raven's laugh was high-pitched and mocking. "Oh, so you're going to tell me, now, that you love him just as much as me? Nice one, Richard - I never would have thought of that. Let me ask you something - did you ever come to visit? Hmm? I'm sure you weren't hunting Slade 24/7. You never called, never left a message - for God's sake, you never even sent him a fucking birthday card. And now you're trying to tell me you love him as much as _I_ do? I'm his mother. And the only real parent he has, I suppose, if we're going to go with your theory that Gar isn't his father. You don't have _any_ place here - you fit the description of the runaway teenage father that we see in the movies. In fact, that's exactly what you are."

Richard's eyes narrowed dangerously behind his mask. "So just because I didn't see him for four years means I can't love him?" he countered. "I was there when you got pregnant, and all the way through it. We chose a name together and went shopping and I even traded rooms with Beast Boy - Garfield - so that mine was next to yours. We built the nursery and stayed up at night to feel him kick. Do you not remember that?" His voice was different, now - undescribeable. It seemed wistful and distant but, at the same time, indignant and annoyed. "I don't remember _Gar_ holding your hand when you went into labor. I never even left the room."

"Until the end," Raven reminded him flatly. "You said you had to go get a drink, and then you left, not ten minutes after he was born. This is the first I've heard of you since then. So yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you. You didn't even know if he lived to see the next day, or if there were complications or any of that. You want to know what my theory is? You got scared. It wasn't just some _thing_ any more - it was a real baby. A person. You saw it and bolted, making up some stupid story about Slade as your cover."

Richard raised his hand as if to slap her and, for a moment, they both froze. A mix of surprise and fear crossed Raven's face, and was mirrored on his. Scowling, he balled his hand into a fist and smashed it against the dash board. "Shit!"

Raven just stared at him, not moving or saying anything. She turned back to make sure Caden was still sleeping, and then faced forward and waited.

For several minutes, there was silence. Richard forced his muscles to slowly, limb by limb, relax before he spoke. "It wasn't like that. Yeah, I got scared. But it's not like... I wouldn't have left you for it. He was just... there. And he was so small and helpless. You don't understand how simple... How _easily_... What if we looked away one day? For just a second? Anything can happen in a second."

"If you'd thought about it," she said, her voice soft but still flat, "you'd have realized that, if anything, taking away one of his guardians made him more vulnerable. And do you honestly think I don't understand? Who the hell do you think has been keeping this fucking city safe, Richard? Cyborg's with Bee and Star is on Tamaran. Gar and I are the only ones who stayed - you try juggling a child, a job, and fighting off city-threats all at the same time. Our time was - is - divided. I can hardly take him with me every where."

He scowled again. "You could have-"

"No. _You_ could have _stayed_. The Titans wouldn't have broken up, and he would be safer. You honestly think you were helping him? He could've gotten hurt at any moment I wasn't with him - or even when I was, some times - simply because of your idiotic decision. Maybe you love him, Richard, but not enough to stay, clearly. And surely not enough to even be considered anything more than a sperm donor." Her voice was cold, dripping with venom.

"You know what? Fine. If you want to think that I was a terrible asshole that didn't care about you or anyone else, think that. But that doesn't mean I can't care now. If you had to go somewhere - Azarath, let's say - for four years, would you still care about Caden?" he demanded.

"That's different," she growled.

"How so?"

"I raised him. I knew him for longer than _ten minutes_. And, before you say anything else, Gar did, too. He has more right than you ever did to call himself Caden's father."

"But he's _not_, God damn it! I am. I made a mistake. Whatever. Think what you will about that. But I'm here now, and I want to be a part of his life." A hint of desperation had worked its way into his voice.

"For how long?" Raven asked bluntly. "You haven't told me, yet, that you aren't planning on going back to search for Slade. You haven't told me you're going to stay. Are you going to be so selfish as to force yourself onto a little child, and put him through changes that no kid should go through? And then, just when he might be accepting you, you'll leave and he'll have to go through losing another father, since you'll have destroyed the thought of Gar in him."

"Slade's in Jump City."

He let it slip before he could stop himself, and watched with building regret as Raven's face lost color and her body seemed to go limp.

"He's... He's here?" Her voice was tinted with panic and even a little hysteria. The one villain they could never defeat - the one person who posed a threat to Caden that she couldn't do anything about - was there.

"He's being taken care of," Richard assured her quickly. "He hasn't been here long - only a few days, and-"

"A few days," Raven repeated. "And you just thought to tell me this now?"

Richard opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again when he saw on Raven's face what he hadn't wanted - understanding.

"That's why you came here. It wasn't for Caden and me. It gave you an excuse - chasing Slade. And then you decided that you needed a break while you were in the city," she stated. It wasn't a question.

Again, he tried to speak, but she wouldn't let him.

"Pull over," she said quietly. He stared at her for a long moment before complying.

Raven unbuckled and stepped out, walking around to his side of the car. Opening the door, she said in that same cool, collected voice, "Get out and speak to me. Now."

Helpless and knowing that she'd make him if he didn't, he nodded and slowly removed himself from it, closing the door behind him. After standing there and facing it for several seconds, he took a deep breath and turned to look at her.

"Go ahead, now, and tell me again that you want to be a part of Caden's life. Do it."

"I want to be a part of Caden's life," he repeated, not sure where she was going. Before he could even think on it, a cold, pale hand seemed to come out from no where and slap him across the face. The sound echoed out against the empty road, his cheek suddenly seeming to burn.

"Do. Not. Lie. To. Me," she snarled. "You come here out of no where, telling me you've suddenly decided that you _care_ about the fact that you have a child, and you even have the gall to stick around and tell me my accusations are wrong. You never wanted him - never wanted me. It was just a conveniant time to pick up a quarter you lost last week, right? As long as you're in that same place, there surely couldn't be any harm in it. Go to hell."

His stomach, Richard was certain, had turned into a large block of ice. "Wait-"

"No," Raven snapped. "I'm done waiting." Acting purely on instinct, she flipped him off and turned to walk into the forest along the side of the road. Immediately, Richard launched himself forward to follow, but found himself stopped by a black, nearly-transparent barrier. He couldn't go any farther.

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Ooo, cliffhanger. P Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up before I poof again so that you guys don't have to sit here for another few months. That would suck.

Anyway, review, please!

Thanks,

Tears of Insanity


	9. Nobility

**Author's Note:** Okay, so, apparently my challenge isn't a very big hint. That's fine with me but I wanted to make sure that I wasn't just assuming things. Is there anyone here still planning on taking it up? You have till February 14th, remember. Think about it.

Right now, there is only one person that has notified me that they joined. Major props to her (you know who you are), and if no one else joins, she wins by default

If you were confused and didn't know where to find it, read this closely because I don't want to repeat it and seem like an idiot. It's at the top of my story, _Scars and Hearts. _Second story down on my profile page.

**Nobility**

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

For an immeasurable period of time - because he had no watch or because he wasn't paying attention wasn't clear - Richard paced and tried to break through the barrier or find a hole in it. He screamed and yelled after Raven, watching helplessly as her form slowly got farther and farther away, hidden in shadow.

_God.fucking.damn.it._

He didn't dare say it out loud, feeling Caden's confused, terrified looks at his back. The child was awake, now - probably a result of Richard's yelling. He didn't stop.

"RAVEN! Get your ass back here!" he roared, not sure if she heard him but refusing to give up. "You don't know what's in that damn thing! LISTEN TO ME! _RAVEN_! ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE YOUR SON HERE?!"

She didn't respond, didn't reappear. He growled and slammed his fist into the blackish wall, ignoring the shock of pain that was sent up through his arm in response.

"Where's Mommy?" a small, quaking voice interrupted.

Richard bit back a retort, reminding himself that Caden was no more than a child and it wasn't his fault. "Mommy went for a walk," he muttered. "Is it okay if I stay with you for a little while?"

"I guess," Caden said doubtfully. "Mommy doesn't like you. Why she not like you?"

"Mommy and I knew each other for a while. I had to go away for a very, very long time and Mommy got mad at me for it," Richard explained softly. "When I came back, Mommy got upset."

"Daddy not like you," the child informed him. "He got mad when he found out you hurted Mommy. I hit you to make you go 'way, 'member? I told Daddy."

Richard grimaced. "Daddy and I used to be, friends, too. And I didn't -" God, was she about to get indignant with a _child?_ Shit. "He was just upset, too. You know-"

He was cut off when the blackish wall he had unknowingly been leaning on suddenly gave out and he fell to the ground. "Holy sh-" Richard was cut off once more, this time by his own shock as all of the sudden it went back up again and two battling figures came into view.

Raven and Slade.

His gut told him it was them before he could even make out what either looked like. The timing was just too perfect. Not thinking, he ran forward to help, only to find himself run back into the wall.

They were getting closer, and what was happening slowly seeped into Richard's brain as he saw detail. Raven was between Slade and the wall, trying to block him from getting any further.

_Probably just in case she can't hold it up for too long, or if she... _His mind trailed off numbly. Unfortunately, Slade continued to gain on her.

When they were only feet away, Raven turned to look at him, eyes meeting his for a determined second. _Caden_. She mouthed the word before turning back just in time to block a kick to the jaw.

Not quite thinking straight, Richard picked him up, tossed him in the car, locked the doors with the manual button, and dropped them on the ground.

The wall was now the only thing between him and Slade, who was fervently pounding on it, despite Raven's attacks against his back and efforts to get between him. Richard watched in what seemed like slow motion as Raven flinched with each blow to the force field.

_Now's not the time to be noble, Rae,_ he thought, a sick feeling taking over his chest. _Trapping yourself with him is the stupidest thing you could do._

"LET IT UP!" he roared at her.

She lifted her fevered, hard eyes to look at him, and the answer was clear - 'Not a chance.'

As her fist connected with Slade's plated chest and her knee simoltaneously hit his not-so-protected groin, he finally seemed to notice her. He turned and, with a movement so sharp that Richard couldn't tell what had happened until he saw blood, bashed her side with a knife.

The hell if that stopped her.

Panicking, Richard slammed his own fist into the fading black barrier so that she turned at looked at him. He briefly flashed one of his explosive disks, willing her to understand. She did.

With one last furtive punch to knock her persuer back, she let it go. The second she did, Richard threw a series of explosives in Slade's face and grabbed Raven's arm, yanking her back.

They raced to the car, Raven trailing blood. Richard fumbled for half a second with the keys before managing to unlock the car, and the two of them slipped in.

Almost immediately, they were driving off. As tends to happen, Slade followed.

The car continuously gained speed, weaving around and between other vehicles on the road. Raven had one hand pressed on her side to try and stop the bleeding (pain meant nothing at that moment), and the other hand attempting to buckle up Caden.

The moment she was done, her other hand went to her side as well. Blood overflowed, covering her hands, her clothes, and the seat. Sinking back, she gritted her teeth firmly and closed her eyes.

The sheer extent of it was about to give Richard a panic attack. Her normally pale face was sheet-white, and a thin coat of sweat shined on her face. The overall scent of copper filled the car and he had to breathe through his mouth to avoid getting sick from the though of whose it was.

Richard tried to concentrate on the road. Really, he did. But that didn't stop him from noticing, out of the corner of his eyes, that her hands were beginning to slacken on the wound. Without taking his eyes off the road, he reached over with his hand and put it on top of hers, pressing in again. A tightening of her jaw muscles was the only thing that gave away the fact that Raven noticed.

"Raven? Raven!" The desperation in his voice became apparent. "Wake up, you can't-"

"I can hear you, Boy Blunder," she murmured, lips barely moving as she opened her eyes. "Stop shouting."

"What can I do?" he asked pleadingly, his foot pushing the gas pedal down ever-further.

"Talk to me about something. Anything. Please." She stared straight ahead, giving no indication that she was hurt in any way.

"Once we make sure you're okay, I'm going to fucking kill you," he growled.

The ghost of a smile appeared on her lips for a millisecond before disappearing again.

"So, I, um, heard that Cy and Bee are going to be in town for a couple of weeks sometime soon, so they'll probably- FUCK!" Richard swerved dangerously as Slade appeared next to the car.

Acting purely on instinct, Raven's arms shot out and set a force field around Caden. For a split second, Richard marveled on how quickly she'd done it, then he turned to ram Slade into the railing.

All of the sudden, Slade vanished. Raven put her senses on the alert, waiting for him to suddenly appear again. He didn't.

After roughly three minutes, she slowly let the force field down. Richard had slowed the car down, and she was too exhausted, now, to keep her arms up - the safest way to ensure that the barrier stayed up. She was covered in sticky wetness, and, for the second time in two days, fever began to touch her.

After weakly convincing Richard to stop at a store and buy a spool of thread and a needle, she did a rough stitch-up job to make it easier for her body to heal itself.

Caden had, remarkably fallen asleep. Raven herself faded in and out of conciousness - for a different reason, admittedly - until, several hours later, Richard stopped at a small motel.

He slipped into his costume and got out of the car, carrying Caden and supporting Raven as they slowly made their way inside. The man behind the desk opened his mouth to question the bloodied group, then shut it again, recognizing Nightwing. He silently gave them a key and told them their room number.

Once inside, Richard set Caden on one of the beds and instructed Raven to sit on the other. She tiredly obliged, waiting as he rushed into the bathroom to wet several washcloths with hot water and two of them a generous lathering of soap.

"Take off your shirt." It wasn't a suggestion.

Even in Raven's weakened state, her anger flared. "No way in hell," she snapped.

"Then rip off the bottom or something. I need to see the w... wou... cut."

"I stitched it. It's fine," Raven told him emotionlessly.

"I'm not in the fucking mood, Raven. Do it or I'll have to do it for you, and you know that you can't stop me. I don't want to force you to, but you know I will."

After glaring at him for several seconds and opening her mouth to begin several _constructed _retorts, she nodded and ripped off the bottom half of the shirt she wore.

Richard gagged.

The area was literally covered in dark, mostly-dry blood. Inches and inches of her skin had it staining the surface, and the upraisal of the thread from the stitches was the only thing that gave away the location of the cut. He looked to her face as if asking forgiveness and then brought down the first of the four cloths on it to rub the blood away.

A small, strangled noise came from Raven's throat and all of her muscles went rigid, though she kept her mouth closed. Richard instinctively offered his hand, but she grabbed his forearm instead. Her knuckles went white as she squeezed it.

It took a painstaking ten minutes for Richard to clear it off as best as he could, and by that time Raven's face had again begun to lose some of its color. She wavered slightly on the bed, her grip on his arm loosened but not gone.

Richard slowly pulled away and dropped the now-red rags into the bathroom sink, trying to ignore how his arms and knees shook forcefully. While he was there, he removed the white T-shirt he wore under the costume, and opened the door up briefly to toss it to her so that she wouldn't have to wear the blood-soaked shirt - and all of its potential for infection - to sleep.

When he came back out five minutes later - giving her plenty of time to chance - she was wearing the white shirt, with the torn one on the floor near the end of the bed. He had torn another towel into strips and once more gave her his arm to hold as he carefully tied two layers around her waist, momentarily protecting it. She didn't accept the arm, but instead sat completely erect.

By the time he was done, her eyes were closed and she was mostly asleep. He carefully lifted her and set her on the bed, crawling in beside her in only a pair of jeans. Wondering for a moment if it would be wrong to put his arms around her when she couldn't fight back, he quickly gave in and pulled her close.

Raven only hesitated for a moment, then loosened up and, using his arm for a pillow, snuggled closer.

She could regret it in the morning if she needed to - right now she owed him.

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

It was about time I put some action in there. I was getting bored of my own fanfiction. Review, please! Did I overdo it? It was hard to tell.

Thanks,

Tears of Insanity


	10. The Right Choice

Noel (my friend's golden lab) is staying with me for a week while Mya is in Colorado, so understand, I'm going to be a little distracted. Does that mean I won't update? Hell no. I just might not have one out ever other day. (Yeah, I know - _like you ever did?_)

So, while she comes over here and abuses my hand, let's get this thing going.

Haha, that sounded wrong.

Sorry.

**The Right Choice**

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Raven awoke to the middle third of her body on fire.

The healing had come along quite nicely over night - it was only half as deep and two thirds of its previous length - but it hurt like hell, and this time she didn't have the adrenaline frolm panic or fog of sleep to help drown it out. Never the less, she couldn't quite bring herself to move, or even think about why she hurt - she was so _comfortable._ Since when was Gar so muscular? Ususally he was on the thin side, and-

_Oh, God. It isn't Gar._ She froze, memories of yesterday flooding back - unwanted - into her brain. Two long, semi-tan arms were woven around her, hard and well-shaped but not bulky. His chest was well-defined and, damn it all, she couldn't help but be turned on, pressed up against it as she was. He had abs worthy of a boxer-model, and Raven somehow doubted there was even a centimeter of fat on them. She resisted the urge to run her hands over them.

_I'm married. I'm married and this bastard is using me and my son for his own pleasure._ She ran it through her head like a prayer, clinging to it even as her brain soaked up Richard's scent. She twisted and tried to pull away, ignoring the burning that assaulted her torso. Richard yawned and, for a moment, pulled her in closer before his eyes shot open and he let her go.

He sat upright stiffly, and Raven struggled to do the same. Eyes fogged with sleep, he stared at her, slighly confused as he grabbed her arms and gently helped her into a sitting position. "You okay?" he mumbled, yawning.

Raven opened her mouth to make a snide remark, but found she couldn't. In this early-morning phase, Richard seemed soft, vulnerable, and... cute?

So, instead, she nodded. "Yeah," she murmured.

He eyed her oddly, running a hand through his hair. Finally, he sighed, flustered. "How's your side?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hurts like hell," Raven replied flatly. He winced, and she sighed. "Nothing I can't handle. Thanks for the... um... shirt."

"Yeah. No problem." An awkward silence filled the room. "You should really see a doctor, you know," he continued softly. "If that thing gets infected... Your body won't heal that."

"I'll be fine," she replied, half-shrugging.

"If something happened, though, what about Caden?"

"That's my responsibility."

Another pause, this one tense enough to cut through with a knife.

"I really do care for you, you know," he told her quietly. Raven opened her mouth, but he held up his hand, cutting her off. "Don't. Please. Just let me talk, okay?"

Raven hesitated, then nodded.

"I can't make up an excuse for leaving four years ago. I can say, though, that I thought I was doing the right thing. I was trying to get him as far away from the two of you and I could. It terrified me that he could come in and hurt you while I was distracted... With a new baby, we couldn't always be on our toes. I would rather have had you two out of the line of fire than be with you myself. Yeah, it sounds terrible, but that's just the way it is. Just because I came to Jump to get after Slade doesn't mean it wasn't exactly what I've wanted to do every day for the past four years. I'd make the decision all over again, given the option... Whether I was here or whether I wasn't, I kept him away. I don't want to know what would have happened - or even if anything would have - if I didn't.

"That doesn't mean, though, that I would turn around and leave again. Slade's here - this is probably my best chance at him, any way. And if it isn't... Well, if he's not here, it doesn't matter. Don't shut me out, Rae. I'm not Gar and it's going to be hard, and Caden probably won't like it much... But it would work out. He deserves to know who I am. He deserves his real father. And Gar deserves someone who will love him back. You can't do that. He's a big boy, Raven, and he can handle the truth."

For the course of several absolutely silent minutes, all she did was stare at him. Her breathing was slow and soft, she rarely blinked, and her eyes and posture never wavered, even when her neck ached and her side heated.

Finally, she murmured, "On one condition." His heart soared, and yet paranoia wouldn't let him celebrate yet. "You have to tell them. This is completely your decision. If they ask me, I'll agree with it, but you have to be the one to explain it to Caden and then tell Garfield that you're taking his wife."

Richard nodded and answered swiftly. "I will. God, I will. Thank you. I - You - I love you. It's not an excuse, but..." He trailed off, shaking his head and crushing her against his chest. She yelped softly and he grimaced, releasing her.

"Sorry," he muttered. She nodded, eyes drifting over to Caden.

"Where are we going?"

"What do you mean?" Richard's brows drew together as he asked.

"Where are we going? Right now."

He frowned and then scowled. "I don't know. Slade's in the city... I think... I think we should leave. For a little while. You have to heal." His voice tightened over his last statement. "Then we kick his ass."

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

All-righty then. Kind of short, I think, but that seemed like a good stopping point. You know what to do!

Thanks,

Tears of Insanity


	11. Innocence

**Holy Jesus, it has been a very long time since I updated this. My bad! But you have to understand, I RP and have a character named Raven very different from the one in TT... So it's hard for my pathetic little brain to differntiate. XD Sorry! Now, without further procrastination from yours truely...**

_Disclaimer: Teen Titans me no ownie._

* * *

They spent the entire day driving.

Richard finally realized exactly why Raven had insisted on him telling Caden; it was hard as hell. Every second of every moment, he'd been trying to figure out how to start it, how to word it... Surely it couldn't be as complicated as it was. And yet, he found himself consistantly in a state of confusion and anxiety.

Gar would be easier. As horrid as it sounded, Richard knew him and knew how to handle him... And he was older, more comprehensive. Blunt would will. He wasn't dreading that nearly as much as he was the confrontation with the small boy that he wished, more than anything, he had seen grow up. Raven had done a good job; that much was absolutely certain.

_Raven_. He looked over at her, and concern marred his brow although he tried to hide it. She was healing herself, but slowly, it seemed... In the back of his head, he knew why; she had limited energy sources at the minute. But it was in his nature to worry that something else was wrong, or that there were problems that he just couldn't see. And it would be just like her not to tell him and wait until it got serious...

Richard shook his head forcefully, earning an odd look from her. Her eyes voiced the question that her lips would not, and he simply muttered, "Nothing."

"Mom-_my_," Caden whined. Richard had learned his first rule regarding young children: patience was non-existant. The poor child was bored every moment that he wasn't asleep, and there was an odd sort of guilt in Richard's chest at not being able to fix it.

Raven, on the other hand, seemed to know what she was doing. "We won't be driving for much longer, baby," she told him gently. "Go back to sleep and when you wake up, we'll be done driving for a long time, okay?" She hadn't known this for a fact, but it would have to be the truth. After fourteen hours straight in a moving car, even she was getting sick of it... And it was ridiculous to spend so much time in a car with a little kid. It just wasn't done.

Richard nodded in emphasation, clearly agreeing. "We'll be there soon, bud."

After another two or three minutes of complaint, the boy let himself fall back into slumber. For twenty minutes, there was silence between the two adults in the car, until Richard muttered awkwardly, "How's your... side?"

"Healing," Raven said curtly, then sighed as if in apology.

He didn't comment, instead continuing with, "We've already spent two nights in hotels... An acquaintence of mine lives about half an hour away from here, and he's off on vacation. We'll spend at least a few days at his house... Maybe more. All right?"

For several moments, Raven thought it over. The idea of sleeping in a house with a man other than the one she was married to defied her basic regulations of morality... But then again, she really didn't want to spend another night in one of those horrid two-room hotels. She nodded her consent, and then added dryly, "Let me guess - only two bedrooms?"

Richard's lips twitched very slightly. Anyone other than she wouldn't have noticed. "You guessed correct."

"And, naturally, one of them is a room with only a small bed, and the other is the master." They didn't need to draw it out; both of them knew how this was going to end up. One of them was rather content with the idea, and the other was trying very hard not to be. "This is wrong," she muttered, although it wasn't a 'no.' "I am still married, you know... It is absolutely and completely indecent."

Richard wasn't nearly as bothered. "I think God will forgive you."

"It's not God I'm worried about," she muttered, despite the fact that she knew he was already aware of the fact.

He fell silent again, and they remained that way for the rest of the ride. Once Caden had been woken up and the luggage had been hauled in, Raven disappeared into the bathroom to begin the painful process of removing the string-stitches... Although Richard felt that he ought to help, he couldn't bare being there for it, and so he stayed back to bring Caden's things into his temporary room, and then the rest of it into the master.

When Raven returned, she acted just as if nothing had happened, for which he was incredibly grateful. Somehow, during the few minutes that she'd been in the bathroom, he'd somewhat come to a decision... Still a bit uncertain, he ushered her into the main room.

At first, Raven hesitated, not knowing what his intent was. However, having decided that Richard wouldn't be quite so outright about something like that, she followed him in and waiting for him to do or say whatever it was that he wanted to.

It didn't take long; as far back as Raven could remember, Richard had always - well, almost always - been straight and to the point. "I've decided to wait."

She didn't need to ask what he meant; it was clear. "Why?" she asked impassively. She couldn't say she was upset; rather, grateful.

"I'd like to earn his affection and trust first... Be someone he actually likes before I do it... I don't know."

"Thank you," Raven whispered, closing her eyes in relief.

Richard grimaced. "Was it really that hard for you?" For the second time, the guilt pounded along to the beat of his heart.

"He's my baby," was her only answer. "And I need to go put him to bed." Before Richard could comment, she teleported away and quickly put Caden to sleep.

Not wanting to walk in on Richard getting changed, she opted to walk back to the room... Which, of course, didn't help. "Do you _always_ sleep like that?" she asked, irritated. The very depiction of her teenage self, she crossed her arms across her chest and raised her left brow.

He grinned. "Like what?" he asked innocently.

"Like _that_. Without your freaking shirt on."

To his credit, Richard was trying very, very hard not to laugh. "Yes," he replied as seriously as he could, "I do. I get too hot at night if I wear my shirt." At least it was the truth... Just not the whole truth, of course.

Raven rolled her eyes and grabbed her things, slipping into the bathroom accompanying the room to shower, brush her teeth, and change into her own pajamas; a light purple-gray camisole that stopped at her belly-button and black boxer-shorts. Feeling his eyes on her when she finished, she looked up in surprise only to meet his intense gaze. Frowning, she ignored him and began unpacking her clothing, loading it into the closet.

It took several minutes for Richard to get ahold of himself. "What are you doing?"

"Unpacking, so I won't have to tomorrow. Do you know where there are spare blankets? You can have the bed - I'll sleep on the floor." She hadn't realized that had been the plan until the words were already out of her mouth.

Richard's eyes narrowed, and for a moment he actually looked angry. "You are _not_ sleeping on the floor, Raven."

Again, she rolled her eyes. "Stop being so melodramatic. It's easier this way."

"Am I honestly so repulsive that you can't sleep next to me? I'll behave, but Jesus, sleep on the fucking bed."

Her lips twitched. "The fucking bed? I thought you said you'd behave."

Abruptly, his attitude change and he found himself laughing. "You know I," gasp, "didn't mean," gasp, "it that way!"

Shaking her head at his antics, she continued to unload, organizing the closet by shirts, jeans, and jackets. Deciding not to be spiteful - at least, not yet - she left space for Richard's as well, although she didn't actually know how much he had.

"Well, you can continue with this..." Raven jumped half a foot into the air when the sound of his voice came from right next to her ear. He grinned. "Scare you?"

"No," she muttered, glaring. He chuckled.

"Okay. Well, goodnight, Raven." He gently pressed his lips to hers. What neither of them expected was for her to react instantly, kissing back... Which, in turn, charged Richard's own desires.

They found themself falling back on the bed, Richard instinctively twisting so that he was underneath.

"Definately not innocent," Raven muttered before they both lost control.

**So, how was it? It was a bit rough, and please forgive any typos - I'm far too lazy to go back and edit. XD Anyways, review, please!**

**-Tears of Insanity**


	12. On Guard

**Only four reviews? I know I've been away a while, but come on, guys. That's way lame. Thank you to the four of you that did, though!**

_Disclaimer: I does not has ownership of Teen Titans._

* * *

Raven was pissed.

It was rather impossible to tell, of course, whether she was pissed at herself, Richard, or the world... Between her mumbling to herself, her ignoring of him, and her random outbursts of fury at nothing, it was probable that it was all three. In reality, an internal war was going on, twisting her insides with the mix of guilt and pleasure that should never have existed in the first place. It wouldn't leave her alone for a single minute, and even Caden was beginning to notice his mother's terse attitude.

When Raven finally cracked and snapped at him, it was immediately followed by a pained - mental, not physical - grimace. "I'm sorry," she sighed, pulling the tearing child into a hug. "I didn't mean to. Forgive me?"

Caden sniffled as if in answer and she gently brushed the tears from his eyes. "Go up and play, okay? I'll come up and join you in a few minutes."

He complied hesitantly and she turned around, leaning into the counter and burying her face in her hands.

"Raven..."

Richard hadn't been able to help but watch, and he frowned when she looked up and glowered at him as if plotting his death. "What the fuck is the matter?" he demanded, his own temper flaring in response to hers. "Don't you tell me you didn't enjoy last night every bit as much as I did."

"He - deserves - better!" she nearly snarled.

His face darkened. "Garfield?"

"_Caden_!" At this, Richard's face twisted in confusion, his brows raising. Raven scowled. "You don't get it! This - all of this - this is _not_ what he needs. Not what he deserves. He's a little kid, for hell's sake! He should _not_ be exposed to all of this shit. You're asking me to choose between my love and his happiness, and you expect me to choose myself? Parenthood changes things, Richard."

"You think he can't be happy just because things change? I managed, didn't I? And I'll bet I remember a hell of a lot better than he will," Richard challenged.

"Yeah, and to this day you're scarred by it," she snapped. "Can you look at that poor kid and honestly tell me that you can choose yourself over him? Because I can't. He's _happy_ now... And do you see what I did? Because we did something questionable, I let it affect him."

"Good God, Raven, you're twenty-one! You have a full life ahead of you, and you deserve a little section of life for yourself," he protested, a sinking feeling starting up in his stomach.

"It's not about what I deserve - it's about him. _Everything_ is about him. I am responsible for his existance, and therefore I have to make it the best damn existance that I can."

"And me?" Raven looked up at him, bewildered. "Don't I have that right, too? To try and make him happy? 50 of his creation goes to me... That makes him just as much my responsibility as he is yours."

She shook her head. "You have... other engagements." She sighed, unsure of how to word it. "What we did last night... We shouldn't have-"

"Don't." Richard's voice was suddenly cold; cutting. "Don't you dare make what happened last night regrettable.I can deal with your pessimism, Rae, but not with that."

"What else am I supposed to do?" she asked in monotone. "Sure, I could admit that I enjoyed it. I could admit that a large part of me wants it to happen again. But what purpose would that serve, other than to torment us both with thoughts of what can never be?"

"You said I could tell them." A hint of desperation was slowly starting to taint his tone. "You told me I could... Don't take that back. You'll be hurting both of us, and Caden... Some day, he'll find out. He'll be furious and hurt and won't be able to trust any of us... Is that what you want? Rather than telling him now, so that he can learn to accept it at a young age and forget it before long?"

She flinched. "Don't put that on me."

"I thought it was all about Caden?" he protested.

"It_ is._ And _you're _making this all about you," Raven said, glaring. "What do you really want? Hmm? To be Caden's father, like you said, or to be with me?"

Richard stared at her for a long time. "Does it matter?" It was a serious question.

"Yes, it does matter," she said flatly. "You don't care about him. If you want to be part of his life, be his dad, not his father." It was as simple as that.

"And how do I do that?!" he asked, scowling. "I'm a bit new to this, Rae."

She didn't have to read for him to comprehend her expression: _'Who's fault is that?'_

"I don't know how to look at him like that."

"Figure it out." She shook her head and walked off, leaving Richard to whip around and slam his fist into the countertop.

"How the hell does she expect me to do this?" he growled to himself, running a hand furiously through his hair. "It's completely -" he cut himself off suddenly, feeling like a thousand pounds had slammed into his chest.

_If you want to be part of his life, be his dad, not his father._

"Oh, my God," he muttered. "She's comparing me to Trigon!" A strangled sound made its way from his throat. Without really realizing it, he vowed internally to prove her wrong - very, very wrong.

--

Caden shrieked with delight as he ran in the door, holding a ball of fluff. "Mommy! _Mommy_! Come see!" he called.

Raven, instinctively figuring he was hurt, teleported instantly into the room. _I should never have let Richard-_ "What is that?" she asked, stopping when she saw the grin on his face and the fur in his arms.

"A puppy!" he announced excitedly. "Look, look!"

"_That_ is most definately not a puppy," she said skeptically.

"Is too! Look! Wake up, puppy!" He began to shake the poor, sleeping thing until his mother rushed over to take it from him. Sure enough, the puppy lifted its head and Raven was suddenly being attacked by a tiny pink tongue.

"Woah, woah," she muttered, holding it out and looking up to glare at Richard as he chuckled. "What did you do?"

"He wanted the puppy," he said, shrugging. "Can't do any harm, right? It's a husky."

"Yes, I see that," she grumbled.

"C'mon, Rae! It's cute."

Raven eyed it, stroking its head. "Well, maybe. Either way, who, exactly, do you expect to take care of it?"

"His name is Guard," Caden supplied, and Richard nodded his head towards him.

"Are you kidding me?" she demanded of him. "He nearly shook the poor thing to death."

Caden began to tear up. "Caden can't have puppy?"

That was all it took; Richard got a Grade-A demonstration of how helpless Raven was against the boy's tears. "Of course you can," she crooned, kneeling down and handing it to him. "Guard, you say?"

"Yeah," he said, sniffing and hugging the dog to his chest. "Wanna see the stuff we got for him?"

"Of course I do," she agreed, sending Richard a 'We'll-talk-later' look over her shoulder.

* * *

**Do do do! All done. How was it?**

**Thanks,**

**--Tears of Insanity**


	13. Heart of Hearts

**I'm listening to music and I just kind of remembered, "Oh, yeah, I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER." So now I am. But I'm listening to Three Days Grace so keep that in mind when you're reading, lol.**

_Disclaimer: Teen Titans ish not mine._

* * *

Raven sat silently on the edge of Caden's bed, running her hand through his hair gently. They'd been here for nearly a week and a half... And, against her better judgement, she'd made herself sit back and watch as Caden got increasingly attached to Richard. _There's no rulebook_, she thought, sighing. _How do I know what's right?_

There was a self-loathing in her, now, that never quite went away. Every single day, she promised herself that that night would be different; when Richard kissed her, she wouldn't give in, wouldn't respond... But every night, she realized that she couldn't resist. It was slowly killing her. Doing this to Gar... It was the worst kind of torture, knowing that you were hurting and defying the one person in the world that didn't deserve it. It was even worse knowing that she could stop it but wasn't going to.

It was her own fault, of course. She knew that. She knew that all she had to do was say no - Richard was too honorable to persue her sexually after she refused. She was hurting Gar for her own personal benefit... She was blacker than black; the scum of the Earth. But with Richard's lips at her neck and his handers caressing her back, she would always forget.

Almost every day, Richard had taken Caden somewhere - usually with Guard, the pup that was already noticeably bigger. By the time it was done growing, the damned thing was going to be bigger than she was, no questions asked. And every day, Caden came home smiling, thrilled, always excited and running to hug his mother and recap exactly what he and Richard had done that day, how much fun it was, how Mommy should come next time...

Today, when they'd come home, there'd been an odd sort of glint in Richard's eye that she just didn't know how to take. It was almost undescribeable; soft, determined, but... what? She just didn't know. As she continued to stroke her son's head, he suddenly twisted to look at her, his eyes shining in the dark. "Mmm, Mommy?" he asked sleepily.

"Mommy's here," she murmured.

"Where... where Risshard?"

Her heart stopped cold. "I..." She was at a loss for words. "Do you want... do you want Mommy to go get him?" she asked softly. He nodded, eyes closed and hair mussed.

Numb, Raven walked out of the room and into the kitchen, where Richard was making coffee. He looked up and went to smile at her, then saw her face. "What's wrong?" he demanded, walking towards her and grabbing her arms. "What happened? Caden's okay?"

"He's fine." Her voice sounded strange to her - distant, connected. Richard's brows drew together and he frowned, searching her face.

"What's wrong, then?" he asked slowly.

"He asked for you."

There was silence for several moments; absolute, painstaking silence. At her words, Richard's heart lept uncharacteristically, but only for a few seconds before he softened and stared at her. "You don't like that, do you?" he whispered. It was like a dagger was being shoved into his heart. "You don't want him to get close to me."

"I don't want you to hurt him," she said simply.

He closed his eyes briefly and he let his arms drop to his sides. "I'm going to go say goodnight to him," he told her, trying to keep his voice emotionless, "and I'll be gone by midnight." He shook his head. "I'm so sorry to have caused this for you." He stared at her a few more moments, but didn't respond. She stood there, following him with her eyes as he went in to say goodnight one last time to the little boy, and then again as he left and walked down the hall to pack up his stuff.

_Stop him!_ her heart screamed, throbbing. _Don't let him go again!_ But she stared. Just stared.

"Bye, Rae," he muttered, pausing for a moment as if expecting her to say something. When she didn't, he walked out of the door and shut it behind him.

_Oh, God._ Panic assauged her. _No!_ She launched herself at the door and wrenched it open, but the street was empty, the faint dripping of rain the only sound that could be heard in the night. He was gone.

----

Richard ran emptily through the town, trying not to feel. He felt like his insides had just been torn out and his nerves destroyed, so that he was only empty, cold like a person whose life was slowly draining from him. He'd tried - he could comfort himself with that...

But it wasn't much comfort.

The look in Raven's eyes, the pain, the hurt... He couldn't get out his head how he could've done that to her without noticing. How could he be so selfish? She meant more to him than anything, more than himself or his own life. Gar had made her happy, had made Caden happy. What right did he have to come back and ruin it all for her?

Caden.

His stomach clenched painfully. Caden... Was it his son? More than just biologically? He didn't know. But he did know that even now, he missed the child's bright eyes, gentle touch, kiddish laugh... Did that make him a father? Probably not. There was more to it than that, he knew. But he'd been well on his way, and little in his life had made him happier than seeing the kid's smile and knowing that he had been the one to put it there.

He was going to miss him. There was no question there. He and his mother... They'd stolen his heart, between the two of them. The only thing that mattered was that they were happy. He'd lived without them before; he'd do it again now. He'd have to.

* * *

**You know what to do!**

**Thanks,**

**-~-Tears of Insanity**


	14. Essence of Pain

**I'm listening to music and I just kind of remembered, "Oh, yeah, I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER." So now I am. But I'm listening to Three Days Grace so keep that in mind when you're reading, lol.**

_Disclaimer: Teen Titans ish not mine._

* * *

One month.

It had been one whole month since Richard had walked out for the second time. Since she'd watched him leave her life and had been too stubborn, too prideful, too stupid to stop him, to ask him to stay, to turn him to turn around, that they needed him...

She'd waited until Caden had stopped asking about him to call Gar and tell him they were coming home. His elation and promises to do better had done absolutely nothing to help her - it had been like adding molten lead to the wound. She'd simply nodded, packed up their stuff, and come home, where she'd been for two weeks now. Not a word or sign from Richard. She'd entered a sense of absolute impassiveness.

Garfield hadn't questioned her; hadn't asked where they'd gone, why they'd left, why they'd come back. For this, she was grateful, although the guilt was eating her inside out. It was disconnected; not part of her. Nothing mattered any more.

He'd noticed. She knew that he had. They didn't talk any more, she often slept in Caden's room or on the other side of the bed. Every time he kissed her, it was empty, and she couldn't will herself to respond... Several times she'd left the room crying because as much as she hated it, she couldn't help but wish that it was someone else's lips instead of his own.

They both knew was over.

"Raven." It was a pained moan. She started, not having realized that he was awake when she crept into the room. Raven turned to look at him silently.

"What happened to us?" he whispered, running a hand through his dark green hair. He sat up, and it killed her to see the tears in his eyes. She walked over and sat down next to him, for once not protesting when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry," she whimpered, and before she knew it, the tears were streaming down her own face, her breathing no more than hiccuping sobs. "So, so sorry. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to, I love you..."

They sat there for a long time, both of them crying, her apologizing incoherently and him silent until the room went perfectly quiet. "We'll figure this out," he told her softly. "We'll - we'll... We'll figure it out, Raven."

"Gar," she whispered. He understood and flinched. "We can still try," she told him immediately. "I love you. I still love you. We can try to make this work - there must be something..."

"All I'm asking," he told her simply, his voice cracking, "is that you don't let Caden forget me. I just... I just want to see him sometimes. I don't need custody. I'll be Uncle Gar..."

"No," she bawled. "No, no." She couldn't do this to him. She couldn't hurt him.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" She turned to look up at him and he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I found the test in the bathroom..."

"I didn't mean to," she said again. The numbness was gone, but she'd have given anything to have it back; the pain she felt right now was like nothing she'd ever experienced.

"And it's not my child." It wasn't a question. He took a halting breath and squeezed her against his chest. "You were with Richard... When you were gone."

"He came," she hiccuped. "I didn't want to be with him. He wouldn't leave, I told him to, he wouldn't leave..."

"Why did you come back?" Gar murmured.

"He left... For me. Us. For us, he left."

There was more silence. Gar was steeling himself to do the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life; let the two things he loved most in the world go. To make them happy, he reminded himself. This would make them happy; he had to release them.

"Raven," he said slowly. She shook her head.

"Don't do it," she pleaded. "Don't do it!"

"Sshh," he murmured soothingly. "Let me. Please." She remained silent, and he took one deep breath, holding back the tears. "Go back to him, Raven. Be happy. Caden deserves to know the truth about his father... Go to him."

The next twenty minutes was spent with Raven silently crying into him and him stroking her. She hated herself. At that moment, it was more than anything she'd ever experienced. She hated herself for being weak, for hurting Gar, for letting this happen. She hated herself for ever falling in love with Richard, for being unfaithful, for letting Caden get attached to him. She hated, hated, _hated _knowing that even though Gar was the one being hurt, here, he was the one comforting her - that he was such a good person that he was killing himself to keep her happy. She hated it.

"You're too good for me," she told him finally, her voice raspy. "You'll find a girl someday that deserves your love, every bit of it, and she'll make you so happy... I'll come to your wedding and I'll be happy for you." It was a promise.

"Once more," he told her softly. "Just one more kiss. Please. I won't ask for any more... If you're gone in the morning, I'll be okay with it. Just one more kiss..."

She pressed her lips to his with all of the passion and force that she felt for him at that moment. Her heart was going to burst with love for this man that was so selfless, that had been a husband when she needed it, a best friend, a father for her son. He'd saved her... And she kissed him for it like she'd never kissed him before. It was probably stupid on both of their parts; it would make it that much harder to let go. But for a few minutes, she let him feel like she was never leaving, like they were going to be together forever... She gave it to him because he needed it and because he, of all people, deserved the kind of happiness that she couldn't give him from then on but that she could give him right then.

He broke away first, turning away from her. "Leave," he told her hoarsely. "Leave."

"Gar-"

"Leave!"

"I love you," she told him softly, sincerely. And then she walked out of the room to get her son and leave.

* * *

**Not gonna lie - I cried while writing this. I'm not, by any means, a Raven/Gar shipper... But I loved writing this chapter. In this fanfic, I really do love Gar. Review?**

**Thanks,**

**-~-Tears of Insanity**


	15. Always

**Okay, so, I'm a terrible person, I know. I'm sorry! My life has just been... well, to put it simply, hell. But you guys don't need to hear about that. My job is to entertain, not to rant! I recently realized my own hypocrisy when I harassed a new-found favorite writer of mine (-coughRaeRurounifancough-) to update a story and realized that I, myself, had been neglecting my authorly duties.**

**To ensure that no obnoxious mistakes occur, I've reread the entire story so far. I'll be honest with you: I have NO friggin idea how this story is going to end, or how many more chapters there will be, or anything like that - so don't ask. What I CAN say is that I do plan on finishing it, and hopefully this time my life will have room for it.**

**Without further stalling...**

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. -pouts-

**Always**

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Pain being the only real look on her face, Raven carried Caden out of the house, suitcases and Guard in tow. The boy was abnormally silent - Raven, in her guilt, attributed it to the late hour of the night, when the back of her mind was forced to admit that it was more likely his own personal instinct.

Her heart felt like it was just a few beats shy of stopping, yet every time a wave of dizziness overcame her that she thought must be death, it disappeared just as quickly and she found herself still standing, her son's head still buried in the crook of her neck.

She pulled her keys out of her pocket and was setting Caden down on his seat when, abruptly, something landed on the ground beside her - a large, black blur.

For a split second, she was convinced it was Slade.

Nightwing held his arms out to her, an open gesture. Her eyes blurred, though she'd thought that she had already cried all of the tears left in her system, she ran to them, shaking as if she was sitting over a earthquake. He held her like that for several minutes, hoping Gar wasn't looking out a window.

"Why are you here?" she murmured, looking up at him with wide, almost childish eyes.

"I was waiting," he said with a rueful smile. "Hoping, really, just in case you did decide to leave. And if you didn't... I just had to make sure the two of you were safe. I would trust Gar with my own life, but not with yours... Nobody with yours," he murmured.

She shook her head. "It shouldn't be this way."

"I know that." Richard sighed. "God, I know it. If you tell me to leave, I will, and I won't ever come back. I won't think any less of you, and I won't think you don't love me - I know that there's more to it than that." He was trying to leave the choice up to her for once - let _her _decide how it would work. Heaven be damned if it wasn't the hardest - no, second hardest - thing he'd ever done in his life, and hopefully every would have to.

For a moment, just a moment, Raven considered it. Morals were battling for supremacy in her mind. If she told him to leave, maybe - just maybe - she could go back to Gar. Maybe they could patch up the marriage; be a family again...

And then her mind drifted to the second child, unborn as of yet. Once more, she was torn. No matter which path she took, she would be taking away the father of one of her children - so which should she choose? The child she didn't even know yet, or the son she'd loved since conceivement, even at the tender age of the event?

_What about you?_ her mind questioned. _How can you make your family happy if you, yourself, are miserable?_

She could feel Richard's heartbeat become faster and harder as she debated, but he remained absolutely still, barely breathing.

Raven inhaled once, then exhaled, opening her mouth to speak. Nothing happened, most likely because her mind was still unmade. On the second attempt, however, she said, simply, "Stay."

It took him several moments to grasp what she meant. Did she mean "stay" as in "don't follow"? Or "stay" as in "stay with me"? He had to be certain, he couldn't hope, he couldn't -

One look at her face and he knew exactly what she'd meant. He crushed his lips to her, his hand caressing the back of her neck. "Always," he breathed huskily. "Always. I'll never leave you again." His arms hugged her close to his body, making sure that this wasn't a dream.

Whether it was moments or hours before they let go of them embrace, got the dog and suitcases into the car, and were off, was unclear. For a while, it seemed to Richard that Raven was asleep, though really she was looking out the window as he drove. The moon and headlights of cars passing by were really the only source of illumination, which wasn't surprising - it was past midnight. A glance at the clock revealed the true time to be 12:41.

"Rae?" Richard's murmured voice carried gently to her ears; he had not missed the movement of her head, however slight, as she'd checked the time.

"Yes?" she asked, her gaze flitting to his face to watch him as he spoke.

"Why?" Though she understood, she opened her mouth to ask him to clarify, just to give her time to come up with a decent response. He held up a hand, shaking his head. "No, don't. Just tell me whatever came to mind." He knew that that would not actually be what would happen, but still; he owed it to himself to request it anyway.

As predicted, she mumbled, "Not sure." She needed time to think, not completely certain that she was ready to tell him about the baby yet. Especially, she decided, after so hectic a night - they all just needed time to clear their heads before more was added to the load. And if Slade was still in town, he really didn't need anything else to -

Slade.

"Is he still here?" she demanded abruptly.

Richard grimaced. "No. He skipped town yesterday - not sure where he was headed, but you can bet he'll be back." He shook his head, scowling. "I just... I can't seem to get into his head, even after all these years."

"I think that's the point."

"True."

Without looking away from the road, Richard's hand reached over, covering hers. She didn't pull away, instead cherishing the feel of it with a sigh. A half-smile twitched its way onto his face and he looked over to her, adoration softening his eyes until he noticed that she was distracted.

He decided not to press until they'd gotten to their destination - a small condo about three hours away that he'd rented in a different name to prevent unwanted... trackers.

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked the moment they were settled and in bed, his gentle but slightly demanding. Concern was slowly weaving its way into his features, though he hadn't actually moved.

"Not now. Please?"

Her plea was not lost on Richard, and he desperately wanted to tell her not to worry about it, that they could talk about it some other time. Her mannerisms, however, led him to believe that it was something a bit more serious than that, and he frowned.

"Raven," he said with a subtle warning. "I think that now is a better time than any other."

"I'm not ready," she insisted, bristling slightly. Her defences were rising, and he had to stop them before they became stationary.

"Will you ever be?"

His words, as intended, cut straight through her thoughts. For a few seconds, he regretted it, thinking that it had had the opposite effect. However, as her face settled into resignation, he knew he'd won.

"No," Raven sighed. "No, I suppose not. But still, I don't think you should know yet..." She looked at his face, hoping that he would accept the fact and let her keep her secret; but, alas, he just wasn't the patient kind of person that such a hope required.

He waited, nearly jumping with the effort it took to keep from shaking her unti she told him.

"I'm pregnant."

Richard stared at her for just a moment. "Excuse me, but could you please repeat that?"

"I'm... pregnant," she said, this time slightly more hesitantly.

He forced his face to go impassive before he made a fool of himself. "Is it Gar's?"

"If it was Gar's," she told him simply, "I wouldn't be here right now."

He blinked once, twice, three times. "So... it's mine? The baby - it's mine?"

She nodded, relaxing somewhat when Richard scooched closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "No joke," he murmured, more a statement than a question.

Tentatively, he placed a hand over her lower stomach. "De ja vu," he muttered to himself. "But are you certain, this early on? It's only been a few weeks -"

"Six," Raven corrected. "Six weeks, and yes, I'm sure. I took a test and - yes, I know, they aren't guaranteed," she cut him off, "but there's something to be said for being an empath. I know my body - I knew with Caden, and I know this time."

"Are you... happy?" He had to ask. They could have ten more children, and he'd still feel obligated.

"How could I not be?" she countered. "In a way, I've always wanted more children, but Gar and I... We weren't very sexually active." Raven wasn't of the opinion that Richard needed to know all of the details. "At the same time, I'm nervous. With so much going on, I can't help but feel like this is a horrible time for this to be happening. And you know what happened last time - I nearly miscarried twice, just because of the scarring."

Richard's face twisted unwillingly into a grimace. Oh, yes, he remembered the panicked trips to the hospital and minutes that seemed like hours as he waited to find out what was wrong with his child, or worse, its mother.

When he failed to comment, she reminded him softly, "The scarring hasn't lessened, I assure you, and I'm sure there's been at least one blow to the area since then; possibly more."

"You're not going to lose it," he said simply. "_We're_ not going to."

"I do appreciate your dedication, but _we _don't control everything."

Richard sighed, brushing his lips across her forehead. "Let's not worry about this for now," he sighed. "We can deal with it in the morning - let's just get some sleep."

The idea sounded decidedly excellent to her and she lowered herself to a position more comfortable for sleeping, turning into Richard's chest. He pulled the comforter up over them both and wrapped his other arm around her, falling asleep that way.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

**There you are - some long-awaited, hardcore fluff. I adored writing this. You guys can diss it all you want, but I'm content! Read and review, my darlings, and I *promise* to have another chapter out by Sunday at the latest!**

**Yours truely,**

**-~- Tears of Insanity**


	16. Close

**I seem to have reached the age where Daylight Savings Time (and the extra hour of sleep that goes with it) is much more exciting to me than Halloween. Oh, well.**

**It's still Sunday! Technically, I didn't lie. Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**Prologue**

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

When Richard woke up in the morning to find that Raven was no longer in bed, his heart skipped a beat. Feeling his face whiten, he completely forgot to put his mask on as he stumbled out of bed and left the room.

He squinted at the harsh light that invaded through the windows and, in a half-hysteric side note, decided that he would have to change the curtains.

"Raven?" he asked loudly, feeling slightly ridiculous as he did so.

"In here," she called out. "I'm making breakfast."

Relieved, he returned to the room to throw on an open button-down shirt before he wandered into the kitchen.

The table had already been set, and Caden was already eating. Even his own plate already had eggs, toast, and bacon on it, and Richard felt his eyebrows lift in surprise.

"Since when do you know how to cook?" he demanded.

"Since Gar only made vegetarian meals," Raven responded, shrugging a shoulder.

"Well, thank God for that," he muttered under his breath. He ignored her glare as he sat down, immediately diving in.

About halfway through the meal, Richard looked over to see Raven sipping her tea, and by the look on her face, she understood quickly what his sincere glower was regarding.

"You can't have tea," he said flatly. Her muscles tightened, preparing to fight about it.

"Yes, I can." Despite how tense she became, her voice was smooth and cool. "I can, and I am." In defiance, she held it to her lips and drank from the cup.

"Raven," he growled a warning. "It has caffeine in it. You _know_ that."

"What's your point?" she shot back, daring him to say it in front of Caden.

Not having forgotten the little boy (who was now watching the two of them with great interest while he shoveled food into his mouth), Richard glanced at him and muttered an oath.

"Your mother and I will be right back," he told him politely and, before she could object, he grabbed her by the arm and half-dragged her from the room. Feeling childish, she brought the tea with her.

"You're pregnant," he accused once they were in the bedroom with the door shut.

"Yes, I am," she said dryly. "How kind of you to notice."

"Nothing with caffeine. We went through this last time."

"And it was just as stupid last time!" Raven snapped. "Women drink coffee while they're pregnant, and that has caffeine in it, too - most likely more!"

"Yes, but those people don't have me to make sure they don't."

"Richard, you can't - "

"Can't what? Try to make sure that my child and wi - girlfri - you are safe?" The way he tripped over his words did not go unnoticed, but Raven opted not to comment.

"Control me," she countered flatly.

"Is tea really worth risking it?" He used his lack of mask to his advantage, eyes boring into hers.

She turned her head away and he scowled. "Raven, you're acting like a ten year old."

"Excuse me?" Her head whipped back to face him.

"You're refusing to think of the long term consequences. And, while we're on the subject, you need to actually eat, too."

"What makes you think that you have the authority to tell me all of this?" Raven had forgotten how stubborn and controlling Richard was, and now that it was resurfacing, she was unimpressed. "And would you _please_ let go of my arm? You're bruising me."

His eyes widened in shock as he was caught off guard, dropping her arm and taking a step back. "Sorry," he muttered, then regained his confidence and said, "I care about you."

She looked for a moment as if she was going to continue arguing, then sighed in defeat and handed him the cup.

"Thank you."

She opened her mouth to inform him that he was most certainly not welcome until she looked through the window and saw a man crouched very oddly behind a bush across the street, with something poking through it -

"Get down!" she shouted, smashing the full force of her small body into him and effectively knocking them both to the ground. The bullet just barely grazed her upper arm but she barely noticed, already trying to stand back up again.

"Are you crazy?!" Richard roared, yanking her back down. "They'll fucking shoot you!"

Raven looked at him like he was crazy. "Caden's out there!"

He froze, goosebumps raising on his arms. He was torn, his eyes flashing to the door, the sniper, and back to Raven.

"I have a force field," she insisted, writhing in panic. "I won't get hit."

She put one around a lamp on the dresser above them to prove her point, but just as he was loosening his grip, a bullet hit it. Electric blue tendrils shot across the ebony orb, and it shattered like a piece of glass, dissolving into the air.

"Holy shit," Raven whispered. Richard cursed.

"You're not going anywhere - " she punched him in the face, so hard he saw stars for several seconds.

"My baby is out there, and if you try to keep me from him, I will kill you."

Her voice had reached a deadly calm, and there was no doubting the sincerity in her voice. He stared at her through what was left of his field of vision.

"There's a baby in here, too," he told her, his voice void of all emotion. "Would you sacrifice it?"

Part of her hated herself as she said it, but she immediately responded, "I would sacrifice everything."

"I wouldn't."

While she stared for a half-second in shock at such a blunt statement, he shoved his thumb up to the base of her jaw, hitting the pressure point and knocking her out cold. Careful to keep out of the line of vision of the man outside the window, he slowly dragged her to the closet and shoved her in there, much like (he thought with a grimace) someone hiding a dead body.

This took less than a minute, bringing the entire length of the event up to about three, and he sprang forward through the halls to grab Caden and nearly stopped when he heard the boy scream.

Richard's speed doubled and he walked into the kitchen just in time to see two men - one holding the boy with one hand over his face and one around his torso, locking his arms in, and the other with a gun pointed straight at his chest.

Caden's wide, panicked eyes sprouted hope at the sight of Richard, and the older boy-wonder was not about to let him down.

He put his hands up as if in submission and took a half-step back. "What use do you have for my - the boy?" he asked, smooth despite the second mistake-of-wording that day.

"That, sir, is confidential information," said the man with the gun. He grinned for a moment before shooting, and as tends to happen when a Teen Titan - previous or not - gets shot at, he jumped into action.

He dodged every single bullet, almost inhuman in his ability, and leapt forward between them, steadily gaining ground until he was literally beneath the gun itself. He kicked it up into the man's face, grabbed the gun, whipped around, and pointed it at the man with Caden in his arms.

The man who now also had a pistol to the boy's head.

"This gun has a special feature. Did you know that?" the man asked with a snicker. When Richard failed to reply, he continued, "See my hand? It's _squeezing_ the trigger. You shoot me and my finger stops squeezing it? It'll fire, straight into the kid's skull."

Even as the man explained this and Caden began to sob, Richard was calculating.

"Do you see this knife?" He asked, dropping the gun in favor for a butcher knife. The man's eyes narrowed and he simply nodded. "I want to make a bet with you."

"A bet?" He frowned.

"Yes, a bet. I bet you that if I take another step," here, he did just that, "I will be close enough to throw this knife at you and hit you right between your eyes."

The man shifted. "Nah, you can't."

"Well, see, I think I can. And here's the other part. If I hit you just there, right in the center of your brain, it will happen so quickly that your brain will fail to register it for about four seconds, during which you will be incapable of thought and thus unknowingly keep your hand on the trigger."

The man's mouth opened like that of a goldfish, and then shut again.

"Neat, right? Now, I'm pretty confident, you see." Had the man been looking at the hero's white, trembling hands, he might not have agreed, but his eyes remained riveted on Richard's. "I bet you that I could cross the distance between us in under three seconds and tilt the gun so that it hits the ceiling, not Caden. What do you say?"

The man considered for less than a second before throwing the boy towards Richard and dashing for the open door. Richard, not one to kill if it wasn't necessary, literally through the body of the second man through the door as well and slammed it shut.

Caden threw himself at his legs, crying and laughing and screaming all at once. "Was it - was it - was it true?" he demanded, tears leaking down his round cheeks and into his mouth.

"Was what true?" Richard asked, looking down at him.

"The knife and the gun and... would that have worked?"

After thinking for a moment, he replied with, "No, probably not."

Caden looked up at him with newfound admiration and said, "Oh." He frowned. "Where's Mommy?"

Sure enough, Raven appeared in the center of the room in the form of a great black bird, her skin like old parchment. She stared Richard up and down and said weakly, "I ought to murder you, right here and now." Noticing the bullets on the floor and Caden still clinging to him, she added, "Thank you. So much."

Richard gave a half-smile and went to reply, but before he could do so, Raven wavered and collapsed. He lunged, not exactly catching her but at least landing under her and keeping her body from hitting the hard floor.

"Raven?" he demanded, looking her over. Had she been shot when he hadn't been with her? There was no bleeding, no signs of injury. Caden watched, terrified.

"I'm fine," came her response, her eyes remaining closed. "Just a little tired."

He muttered an oath and picked her up, bringing her into the closest bedroom - the guest bedroom - and laying her down unceremoniously. Caden was instructed to go into his room, which, thankfully, had no windows, and wait there until told otherwise.

"What's going on?" he asked, hating himself for how desparate he sounded. Her eyes opened slowly.

"Was Caden hurt?"

"No, he wasn't hurt. Are you all right?"

"Fine. Maybe you just hit me too hard." She blinked, trying to clear her mind. He grimaced.

"Your skin is the wrong color," he informed her worriedly, as if she could diagnose herself and tell him what to do.

"Is it?" A touch of amusement lined her tone.

"Stop it," he snapped. "This isn't funny. You're... you're pale. Even for you. Almost yellow."

"Check my arm," she muttered. "It burns."

He checked and was confused, at first, when it looked perfectly normal - then glanced at the other one, which had a cut that must have happened when the bullet had flown past her. It wasn't bleeding profusely, which he took as a good sign, but Raven seemed to have another idea.

"It was poisoned, I think," she said decided. Richard choked on nothing, nearly falling. "Not enough to kill me, idiot," she muttered. "If it had gone in, maybe. It just skimmed, though. I don't feel great and my body seems to agree with the statement, but it'll get flushed out."

At this, he did, in fact, drop to his knees, resting his forehead on her shoulder and heaving slightly as he fought back tears.

"Don't worry about it," she said, her voice softening. "And... thank you."

He lifted his head, running a hand through her hair. "The second child... will it live?"

There was silence for just a moment, and then - for the first time - a drop of emotion graced her face regarding the topic of their second spawn. "Yes, I believe so."

"What can I do to help?"

"Help me up and take me to whatever form of gym you have in this place - I know there is one."

"Gym?" he demanded, glowwering. "Fuck, Rae! This is no time to worry about your figure!"

"Would you just listen to me?" she asked, scowling. "The more I sweat and my body works, the faster it'll get out."

He frowned and, resolving to stay in the room with her just in case, nodded and led her there.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

**There - extra long, just to make up for it being so late. Let me know what you think! And as for those of you that put the story on alert without reviewing, shame on you! I want to know your opinions, too.**

**Sincerely,**

**-~- Tears of Insanity**


	17. In Dreams

**I randomly got the idea for this, rejected it, and then decided that it was perfect and that I was going to do it anyway. Here you are!**

Disclaimer: All I own are two cats, a laptop, and a very whipped boyfriend.

**In Dreams**

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Richard's slow, nearly silent yawn and slight stretch of his arms announced his rise from slumber. He rolled over and, noticing that Raven's eyes were already open, smiled and murmured, "Morning, beautiful."

When she gave no response, he frowned and placed his hand on her arm. It was colder than usual, most likely because it was resting above the comforter - he had to admit that it had been a cool night, and even now the air felt slightly chilled.

"Raven?" he asked. He hadn't been wrong - her eyes were still open, staring vacantly at the ceiling, almost foggy.

He felt something in his chest tighten and warded off panic.

He scooted closer and knelt on the bed beside her, pausing when he felt his knee land on something wet. _She wet herself?_ he thought, his brows drawing together in confusion. Richard pulled back the covers and could only stare, not even daring to breathe.

The surrounding sheets from her waist to her knees were soaked in blood, violent red in color except for the brown edges, which suggested that it had been there for quite some time...

He shouted (though at what, he didn't know) and mindlessly felt for a pulse, though instinct told him that he wouldn't be able to find one. His roar was one of agony as he held her, willing her to move and knowing that she wouldn't. There was a panic in his chest that he couldn't recall ever having felt before as well as the need to _do _something, but he had no idea what.

"Richard?" The voice was hers, but her lips weren't moving. The corners of his vision were beginning to turn white as he was pulled away, and he tugged back, unwilling to leave her behind. "Richard?" the voice repeated.

His fingers were turning numb; he could no longer feel her.

"Richard? Richard, wake up!"

He jolted up right, his chest shiny with sweat even in the darkness of their room. Richard slowly turned and looked down at the small, feminine hand that was grasping his forearm and then back up at the violet eyes that watched him worriedly.

Without thinking about it, he crushed her to him, wrapping his arms around her in a death-grip as he buried his face in her hair. Raven stiffened at first and then slowly began to rub his back; she could feel his heart racing, perhaps faster than it should even be capable of, underneath his skin.

"It's all right," she crooned. "It's all right, now."

He didn't move from that position for several minutes and then pulled back, looking her over frantically as he searched for imperfections. He had to be sure that _this_, at least, was real. His hand found the wound on her arm from a few days earlier, now barely a scabbed scratch that would likely be completely gone by morning.

"Are you okay?" she asked slowly, her heart still pumping just a touch too rapidly from the shock of waking up to his screams.

"Fine," he muttered, "I'm fine." His eyes moved to the small clock that sat on the dresser which read in blaring numbers, "4:53 AM." He ran his hands roughly through his hair, guilt creeping up to remind him how early he'd woken her. "Sorry."

Raven shook her head, brushing off his apology. "Don't be." She paused, uncertain. "Can you tell me what your dream was about?"

Richard's face pulled into a pained grimace. "You don't want to hear about it."

She said nothing, but her expression clearly disagreed with his statement, and he took a deep breath, his body shuddering as he did so.

"You died." It was clear that that was all of the elaboration she was going to get.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, choosing not to say anything, and he gave her a half-hearted smile before standing up.

"You aren't going back to sleep?" she asked, frowning.

He shook his head, terrified of the idea that he might have the dream again and very much unwilling to say so. "I'm just going to go shower and get ready, I think. Maybe I'll start breakfast."

"It isn't even five o'clock," she reminded him slowly.

"I know. I'll just reheat it." Richard shifted his weight, needing to get out of the room as soon as he could.

Raven sighed and pulled back the blankets, placing her feet on the ground. "I'll come, too, then."

"No," he said curtly. He mentally slapped himself when her head snapped up to look at him, hurt stinging in her eyes. "No," he repeated, his voice much softer now, "you should sleep a bit more." Though she was up by 5:30 or 6:00 normally, he knew that while she'd been pregnant with Caden, she'd slept in until eight or nine every day - which was good, because she needed it.

"I'll go to bed early if I get tired," she countered, standing up. Goosebumps rose on her arms and legs from the abrupt lack of warmth and he embraced her again, kissing her forehead.

"Is there anything I can do to get you to stay in bed?"

"Come with me," she supplied. "You don't have to sleep if you don't want to."

He glanced once at the door and the relief it promised, then back at her and nodded. They crawled back in, this time with his arm around her as she used his shoulder in place of a pillow.

"Talk to me?" Raven requested, closing her eyes.

Richard tilted his head, watching her as he asked, "About what?"

"About anything."

"Anything," he muttered, considering for several moments. "Do you want a boy or a girl this time?"

She did not immediately reply, so he thought at first that she'd fallen asleep. However, after a while, she murmured, "I don't care either way, as long as it's healthy." Stero-typical words for a mother, but she meant it sincerely.

He nodded once, trailing a hand gently over her torso where the tiniest of bumps was just starting to show - not that he would ever mention that to her. No doubt, she'd noticed it a week ago, and pointing it out would be suicide. He couldn't help but smile.

Richard felt her muscles loosen and knew she'd fallen back asleep. He sighed gently and closed his eyes, careful to make sure that he, himself, did not do the same.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

**Eh, a little bit of fluff for you. Let me know what you think.**

**Your often-distracted supplier of chapters,**

**-~- Tears of Insanity**


	18. Game of Chance

**Just so you guys know, my cat is literally licking my hand raw as I write this. This story is costing me skin!**

Disclaimer: Not mine. -sighs-

**Game of Chance**

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Raven sighed, sitting down on the couch beside Richard with a wince that he chose not to ask about. It was only seven o'clock, but she was exhausted - and she didn't appear to be the only one. Even Caden had fallen asleep on the love seat and was curled up there.

"What's on your mind?" Richard asked, wrapping an arm around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder with a sigh.

"I sent out the divorce papers today." The guilt in her voice was enough to drive him mad, if not her. He hated the torture that the words cost her, and, on that note, the flurry of uncomfortable emotion that it caused for him.

"Is it so difficult?" he murmured, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.

Raven's eyebrows lifted incredulously. "I was married to him for five years, Richard. He was my _best_ friend. How could it not be hard?"

"Because this is what you want, right?" he responded, the corner of his lips tugging down as he frowned at her.

"Yes, it's what I want." Raven sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again. "But that only makes it all the harder. He was there for me when I needed him to be, and it hurts me that I can't do the same."

"He doesn't need you to be there right now," Richard argued. "I do."

"It's not that simple." She rubbed her temples in frustration. "He never did anything wrong - he was always so perfect, always willing to do whatever I needed him to do to make sure I was happy. I hate feeling like I'm throwing it back in his face."

"You aren't." At this, her brows lifted, and he amended, "Well, it doesn't matter if you are. Why do you care so much? This way, he can find someone who loves him back. We'll all be happy."

"He took care of me! And I _did_ love him back."

"Not the way he wanted you to," Richard snapped stubbornly.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Is that what this is about? You are so immature!" she fumed. "You were gone, and you can't expect me to just stop caring about everyone in the world besides you. I had to move on with my life, and he took care of me! I would have died without him."

"Well, if he really means that much to you, you might as well just grab Caden and go back to him!"

There was absolute silence.

Raven carefully removed his arm from her and stood up, a flicker of pain crossing her face. His hand shot out to cover hers. "Please, I didn't mean that."

"You don't mean a lot of things." Her voice was lifeless, her eyes dull.

"Sit down," he pleaded. "That was wrong of me. I know. I don't ever want either of you to leave."

She nodded once but pulled away. "I'm going to put Caden to bed."

"Raven..."

Richard watched with a grimace as she picked the small boy up, struggling for only a moment under his weight. Caden mumbled something sleepily and wrapped his arms around his mother's neck, nestling his head into her shoulder. He waited, head in his hands, as she tucked him in and then returned awkwardly to the living room, clearly a bit uncertain about what to do with the present situation.

"Look," he said softly, lifting his head to look at her. "I really am sorry. I just... Well, I'm not as mature as I should be because I suppose I didn't have as much of a reason as you did, and can you really blame me for being jealous?" He winced at the word. "He was there when I wasn't. I can't just let that go."

"You have no choice," she informed him flatly. "You can't take back the past, and I don't know that I would even want you to."

He chose not to reply, as there was really no way he could. Instead, he moved on. "How are you feeling? You look tired."

"I'm not tired," she said defensively. "It's just dark in here." With that said, the lightswitch was encased in black and lifted up to shed a bit more light on the room. It, of course, did little to help, but Richard refrained from commenting on it.

"There's something you're not telling me," he murmured as she sat down again. He wrapped one arm around her and stroked her torso with the fingertips of the other. They estimated that she was just under three months along by that point, and though she had seemed to have escaped morning sickness up to that point, earlier in the week she had vomited so much that he nearly brought her to the hospital to make sure she wasn't coming down with something.

The bump was definitely there, but only visible if you were looking for it. Otherwise, it was so slight that it simply looked like she had gained a couple of pounds - which still left her very thin.

"Why wouldn't I tell you anything?" Raven asked, lifting her eyebrows. She said it just perfectly enough that he knew she was lying.

"Raven," he sighed, "don't make me argue with you."

She pursed her lips in annoyance for barely a second before sighing and muttering, "Sorry." He waited expectantly for several moments, and finally she admitted, "I've had a bit of cramping. Nothing particularly bad - I don't think it's a big deal."

"Cramping," he repeated flatly. "You've had cramping." His nightmare from weeks earlier came rushing back, making his head spin. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you would react like this," she said reasonably. "It's nothing to get worked up over, and if it gets any worse, I'll call in. As it is, it being so minor, my body should take care of it."

"_If_ it gets worse?" His face darkened. "_Should_ take care of it? What the hell does all of that mean?" Richard ran a hand over his face, noting that they had become a touch damp. He took several deep breaths, attempting to calm down. "What about spotting?"

"None. I told you, it's probably nothing. I'm sure I had it with Caden, too." Though her voice was calm and her stature perfectly poised, he saw the turmoil in her eyes that suggested the internal battle going on within her mind.

"It wasn't any less dangerous then." The words '_it was more so_' rang silently for both of them - the complications she'd had should have, in theory, killed Caden ten times over. Something about her blood not being completely human, her stature being too small, her hips too narrow, her immune system too weak; it was a miracle that they'd even made it to six months, much less full term.

"I'm older now," she reminded him. "We know what to look out for."

"And cramping doesn't fall under that category?"

"It _does_." She pinched the bridge of her bridge of her nose, warding off a headache. "Which is why you now know about it so that if it anything happens, we're prepared to handle it."

"'Anything happens?' Why do you keep saying things like that?" He scowled. "It seems like you're hoping for a miscarriage!"

She slapped him swiftly and the sound echoed for a few seconds before dying out. His lips parted with the force of it and he stared at her, unable to be angry with her (he had instigated it) but unable to let it go.

"If that's not the case, why do you keep mentioning it?" he prodded. "What are you expecting to happen? Are you sick? Do you -"

"I can't have kids any more!" she snapped, cutting him off and then looking away.

Richard's brows drew together in confusion. "Raven, honey, are you all right? You're pregnant - it's obvious that you are." He lifted a hand to touch the side of her face (checking for a fever more than caressing) only to have it smacked away.

"I'm not dillusional," she spat. "A few months after I had Caden, they told me I wouldn't have any more kids. The doctor said that my blood had made it incredibly difficult in the first place and that my body would be unable to handle the stress a second time."

He stared at her, trying to comprehend as he whispered, "So, what? You're dying?" Even as he said it, he was running through different ways to convince her to get an abortion. He didn't need more children, but he couldn't live without her, and even if she refused to get one, he'd simply lose both of them.

"No, idiot." His thoughts stopped. "I'm not, but the baby is. I won't make it past five months, if that."

It looked like he'd been punched in the stomach. "There's... there's no chance?"

"Not enough of one to consider."

Richard's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Then why even bother?"

Raven debated for several moments before softly explaining, "I heard, once, that there was a baby delivered at just under five months. It lived in the hospital for a long while, but it survived... And maybe, if it inherits my body's ability to heal itself..."

He looked up sharply. "You think it will live?"

"No," she said, unable to help but be brutally honest. "I think it could."

"That's enough for me." Gently, he pulled her towards him and kissed her forehead. "Ypu really ought to see a doctor.

She shook her head. "I know what they'll say. Let's wait a while."

He made a mental note to bring it up again at a future date, but said, "All right, then, the first thing to do is get some sleep. Let's go to bed."

"You can't honestly tell me you're tird - it's barely 7:45." Raven's eyebrows rose.

"So I'll lay in bed for a while. That never hurt anyone." He stood up, offering her his hand, and they made their way upstairs for the night.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

**Agh, this took me a really, really long time to write - sorry! I knew what I was supposed to be putting down, but I was at quite the loss as to how to write it. I probably wrote a few of those parts about three times before I was content with them, not to mention the fact that I lost about half the chapter when my computer suddenly crashed. Rewriting sucks.**

**Anyway, enough of my rambling. Let me know what you guys think, yeah?**

**Super sorry,**

**-~- Tears of Insanity**


	19. Break You Down

"What is it?"

Richard paused, his fork halfway to his mouth, then commenced eating before he answered. "What do you mean?"

Raven's eyes narrowed. "Don't play this game with me. You expect me to tell you things, so by right you need to keep me updated, too."

He glanced meaningfully at the end of the table before he realized that it wouldn't work; Caden had retreated to his room several minutes ago. He bit the inside of his cheek, frustrated. "Can't we talk about it later?"

Her brow lifted, and the answer was clear: no.

With a great sigh, he muttered, "It's just that -"

"Don't say it's because I'm sick," she warned, lips pursing in agitation.

"Why not?" he snapped, every bit as tightly strung these days as she was. "Isn't that a good enough reason for me to be upset?"

"It is," she agreed, "but I've been sick for a week and you've only been like this since this afternoon. What happened?"

"Please," he muttered. "Just - I need time to think. Can we -" he cut himself off when she stood up. "What? Where are you going?"

"To the living room," Raven said coldly. "Since there's clearly no point in being here."

He lifted a brow, reminding himself that her pregnancy affected her mood even more so than normal. "You haven't finished your dinner," he reminded her calmly.

"And I'm not going to," she countered, just a touch snarky as she once again turned to leave.

"Raven, don't be like this."

She whipped around to face him, eyes glassy. "Like what?" she demanded. "Upset that you're keeping something from me? Even though you _always_ make me tell you everything, and it's not like I have any privacy now that we're in the same house, and Caden's -"

"Okay, okay!" He let out a long breath in a last-ditch effort to refrain from becoming annoyed. The only thing more obnoxious than a frigid Raven was an over-emotional one. He stood up and walked over to her, his hands grasping her upper arms as he placed a kiss on forehead and then wrapped his arms around her. "I know. I'm sorry." She leaned her head into the crook of his neck and he ran his hand through her hair, considering.

"You'll just make me more anxious by not telling me," she muttered.

He wasn't so sure. "You just have to promise to remain calm," he sighed. "You can't afford to get upset right now." His hand moved down to her protruding abdomen. Four and a half months along, and already sick; too great a shock might just do her in, especially while she was wavering on an already sensitive edge.

"I will."

He didn't believe her in the slightest, but he told her anyway. "Slade found us."

He was met with silence, and for several moments he considered the possibility that she hadn't heard him, but she spoke before he could repeat it.

"What exactly does that mean?" He heard it in her voice, her fervent attempt to remain at peace with this new piece of information, but the sudden explosion of a light bulb in the kitchen behind them keyed him in easily to how chaotic her mind really was.

"Let's sit down," he muttered, gently nudging her towards the couch. She ripped away from his grasp.

"Don't," she snapped. "I'm not a child. What do you mean when you say he found us?"

He felt his irritation bubbling up again. "I'm not telling you anything more until you sit the hell down and calm yourself."

Anger heated her cheeks. "Since when are there so many conditions to what you do and don't tell me? I'm living here, too, and I have a right to know. It's not your job to take care of me!"

"It is when you don't fucking take care of yourself!"

A large black raven appeared and then disappeared with Raven inside it, and for a few painstaking seconds he panicked, thinking she'd left the house - until he heard the tell-tale sound of footsteps in the room they shared, and the sound of the door locking shortly afterward. Incensed, he roared of the stairs, "_And don't use your powers!_"

He scowled into the silence before him, resolving firmly that he would _not_ be the first one to cave.

Until five minutes later, when he knocked on their door. "Okay, look," he said, of the mind that he had done _way_ too much apologizing in the past half year. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to yell at you. I know you're not a child."

"Go away."

Deep, calming breaths. "Can I please come in so we can talk?"

"No."

Never had he come across a woman so utterly infuriating. "Well, can we just talk through the door, then?"

"No."

He felt the vein at his temple pulsate. "Are you just going to stay in there forever?"

"Yes."

Reminding himself that he _had_ tried to do this the easy way, he pulled out a more Titan-appropriate version of a Swiss army knife that he'd acquired back when his lovely girlfriend had been pregnant the first time around and popped the lock, letting himself in to her chagrin.

"The door was locked for a reason," she said coldly.

"And now it's open for a reason," he returned, shutting it behind him. "I said I was sorry, okay?"

"Richard, same as always," Raven muttered under her breath. "Thinking 'sorry' fixes everything."

He pretended not to hear and walked over, sitting on the bed next to her. "Slade found us here, at the house. There was a note on the front door this morning."

Her breath caught, but she didn't ask what it had said; she didn't want to know. "So we're leaving?"

"You can't travel," Richard said quietly.

"Maybe if we -"

"No. You remember what happened last time. We're not traveling."

"That was five years ago!"

"Raven, calm _down_."

She looked about ready to scream, but instead said, "You really expect me to remain calm when we're just going be sitting ducks, ready for the shooting?"

"We're not," he corrected, albeit hesitantly. "I've called in... reinforcements."

She was dead silent for about four seconds before growling, "Tell me you didn't."

"I didn't have any other choice."

"You _didn't_! Who did you call?"

"Raven, it's not as bad as -"

"_Who_ did you _call_?"

"Everyone, the whole fucking crew! And I maintain that it was the right decision."

"Yeah, Richard, fucking excellent. Call in my husband and the girl whose heart you broke by knocking me up, that's a fucking stroke of brilliance. Oh, and let's put Victor in the middle of it - again."

"And Karen," he responded easily. "He's bringing Karen."

She threw her hands up in speechless frustration before seething, "How long are you going to keep making decisions on your own? If you want to be a family, act like it."

"We are a family," he said irritably. "A dysfunctional one, maybe, but we are. I'll stop making decisions on my own when you stop pulling that card. It's getting old."

"I couldn't agree more," she retorted, bypassing the look of shock that briefly crossed his face by adding, "When are are they going to get here?"

"Vic and Karen should be here any minute now. Kori by tonight, Gar within the next few hours."

"Any minute now? And what were you planning on telling me when they arrived?" she wanted to know. "That he'd abruptly dissolved himself of his hatred for you and they wanted to have a slumber party?"

"They were going to help me explain the situation," he muttered.

"Oh, right, I forgot, because Raven's so fragile that she might not be able to handle herself if only one person broke it to her." Her eyes darkened with a coating of resentment - of him, of their situation, of the world entirely.

"You are fantastically difficult to deal with," Richard said at length.

"Glad to hear you find me so irritating."

"You _are_ irritating," he agreed, "but I love you anyway, so shouldn't that count for something?"

Equally annoyed and disconcerted, she didn't have a chance to respond before the doorbell ring and she brushed past him to answer it. Robin, smart man that he was, decided not to try and get ahead of her and instead simply followed.


	20. Tension

"Rae! Good to see you, good to see you!" Victor hollered as he let himself in, Karen in tow.

Raven's responding smile was wide as it ever got as she was hauled to his side in a hug and then pushed back to be inspected.

"You look huge," he decided with a grin, though that was only a partial truth: being nearly five months pregnant, it was more than noticeable, and given her petite stature and thin frame, she _did_ look much larger than usual, but it was common knowledge among all four adults that she'd been a whole lot bigger with Caden. And it was, perhaps, this line of thought that led the smile dissolve from her tall friend's face within seconds, his brows drawing together before he finally added, "And pale. You don't look so hot."

Richard's stomach clenched from his spot a few feet away, leaning against the wall and watching them. Of course he knew she didn't look well, he noticed every change in her and she was, after all, sick; but he'd spent the better part of the last week trying to tell himself that it wasn't as noticeable as he thought.

"Comes with the territory," she said, brushing it off in an attempt to absolve the room of the awkward mention. She glanced at Karen then and grinned when she noticed what she hadn't before; a small child she'd not seen for months, curled up in her arms with only the back of her head - and two ponytails held up by bumblebee bands - visible. "Hey there, Bonnie," she crooned softly, and the child turned at the mention of her name only to shyly turn away, her face once again buried in her mother's neck.

"Been a while since you saw her," Karen said by apologetic explanation, though it wasn't needed. "It's been a few months - she probably doesn't remember you."

"No problem, we'll just get to know each other all over again," she said, dismissing the issue. "But..." she trailed off, trying to figure out how to ask what she wanted without offending them or questioning their parenting skills. "Why is she here?" She settled for being blunt. "With Slade coming..."

"You already know, then?" Karen's brows shot up. "I thought Richard said...?" She turned to glance at him, only now realizing she'd get to actually greet him, and walked over to give him a one-armed hug.

He returned the gesture and said, "She knew something was up, had to tell her."

"We women know everything," she said informatively, turning back to Raven. "We figured he'd be safer with us than not. Slade gave a warning, right? Which means he _expects_ you guys to call in reinforcement, but he probably wouldn't expect us to to keep the kids around. We didn't want to risk him going after them while he thought we were distracted, and Richard mentioned a group of men tried to take Caden..." Her focus abruptly changed. "Speaking of, where is that boy? He hasn't seen Aunt Karen and Uncle Vic in half a year and he still hides away upstairs?"

"He didn't know you were coming," Richard chuckled. "You can head upstairs and meet him, if you want."

"Since when do you have the right to give permission?" Victor's voice suddenly cut in harshly, his first acknowledgement that Richard was even there. "Or did you take up the role of daddy now?"

"Vic," Karen warned.

"He actually doesn't know yet," Richard returned smoothly, "as I told you on the phone this morning."

Victor smiled suddenly, and he glared.

"What?" he wanted to know.

"_Vic_," Karen hissed.

"Just thinking," Victor responded anyway, "you'll get what's coming to you tonight when Gar arrives and Caden comes running downstairs to see Dad."

Fury lit up the boy wonder's eyes and he took a step forward, only to have Raven's hand at his chest, stopping him. "Don't," she muttered.

"Victor!" His wife's voice was a snarl now and she passed Bonnie straight into Raven's arms (only to be removed moments later by Richard, who insisted she shouldn't be carrying heavy things) as she affronted her wayward spouse. "We _talked_ about this!"

"Yeah," he growled pointedly, not bothering to mask the reproachful look on his face when he noted his daughter's presence in his former team leader's arms. "I know."

A whirlwind of dark hair suddenly came speeding down the stairway, yelling, "Aunt Karen! Uncle Vic! Bonnie!" as it did so.

"Heyyy!" Victor's voice abruptly changed to one of enthusiasm as he caught the boy and lifted him up to his shoulders. "There's my main man! What's kickin'?"

"I didn't know you were coming," he grinned, then repeated it.

"We decided to surprise you," Karen announced sagely, getting up on her tippy-toes. "Do I get a kiss?" Caden obligingly leaned down and kissed her cheek. "How's it going for you?"

"Good," he grinned, shy now.

"What do you think of your baby brother or sister?"

Silence ensued, and Karen realized much too late that he may not have been told yet given the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. A glance to Richard and Raven's grimacing faces confirmed her suspicion. Whoops.

"What brother or sister?" he asked, face twisting in a mixture of confusion and the developing theory that Aunt Karen was very, very silly.

"Nothing, I was just -"

"It's fine, Karen," Raven murmured as she stepped forward and went to pull Caden down from Vic's shoulders. He shook his head and did it himself, setting the small boy on the ground, and she knelt in front of him. "You're gonna have a new baby brother or sister soon," she explained. She didn't add the "hopefully" that hung viciously in the minds of those more well-informed on the matter. "See here?" She guided his small hand to the swell of her stomach. "It's in here for now, so you can't see it, but it'll come out in a while."

An array of emotions crossed his young face, from doubt to awe to confusion and finally a bit of a pout. "Does it have to?" he asked uncomfortably. "I don't want a baby."

Shock registered slowly across the room, and everyone stood there silently, wondering what to say before Richard came forward and knelt beside Raven. "That's not very nice," he said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "Why don't you want one?"

"Jacob's mommy had a baby," he replied, referencing a fellow child from his old preschool. "He said it just cried a lot, and it wouldn't even play with him. We don't like babies."

After considering for a moment, Richard gestured to Bonnie, who he'd just set down on the ground before him and was now holding up by the area beneath her armpits while she stood there. "What about Bonnie?" he asked. "Bonnie's a baby, and you like her, don't you?"

Caden glanced at Karen for confirmation. "Bonnie's a baby?"

"She is," Karen confirmed.

He looked back at Bonnie and Richard and then at Raven, who was watching the exchange intently. "I like Bonnie," he allowed, leaning forward and touching her stomach again. "I guess we can get one."

She laughed and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm glad," she said. Karen came forward to take Caden and Bonnie upstairs and Richard stood up, subtly putting his arm out for Raven to use as she stood up, too; an action Victor pretended not to see as he grabbed their luggage and followed them up, directed to one of the guest rooms.

Once they were gone, Raven sighed and turned to Richard. "Thanks," she murmured, and he knew he'd been forgiven for their fight.

"You're welcome." He linked his arms around her waist and studied her. "Vic was right," he muttered, though it was painful to say it. "You look worse." He brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "And you don't have so much as a cough?"

"Nothing," she responded. "Just tired. And nauseous."

He pressed his forehead to hers and determined that she had a fever, but only a slight one. Nothing to explain why her face was yellowing and dark shadows were appearing beneath her eyes no matter how much she slept.

"We should've gone to the doctor days ago," he said bitterly. "While we still had the chance."

"I'm sure it's just a cold," Raven sighed. "It's just not manifesting itself with its usual symptoms - which, personally, I'm grateful for."

"Right. Just a cold," he echoed, though he found it difficult to believe.

"What are we going to do about Gar?" Raven asked, eager to change the subject. "What Vic said - he was right. Gar will expect that Caden already knows. If he just keeps calling him 'Daddy,' it'll be even more difficult."

"It's not like we can just sit down and tell Caden when Gar's gonna be here in just a few hours," he returned. "Don't stress over it. He can handle it."

"Do we have a plan?" she asked suddenly. "I mean, we can't just stay here in the house, waiting for Slade to pop up. I'm sure you've got it tripped out, but it's hardly secure."

"Karen and Victor said they have a plan," he said, shrugging. "Guess they're waiting for Gar and Kori before they tell us. Whatever they have in mind, it's probably good."

She sighed, feeling thrice as old as she was. "Let's hope so."


	21. Gonna Make Damn Sure

He took one last, deep breath through his nose and then blew out through his mouth, running a green-tinged hand through his hair. He could do this. He had to. And with that, he rang the doorbell.

Almost immediately, Richard made a move for the door. Raven glanced over at him from where she was playing with Caden and Bonnie on the ground, considering that maybe she should be the one to face Gar first, but quickly gave up on the matter. Richard was too close to stop by now, anyway.

As the wooden barrier between the two men was diverted, they simply stared at each other, both expressionless before Gar finally asked, "Can I come in?"

Richard paused, glancing back into the room behind him where everyone had suddenly gone very quiet except for the two children. "Can we - talk first? The three of us?"

Gar winced. That was promising to be _the_ most awkward exchange in history. He stared over Richard's shoulder, perhaps seeking Raven's opinion on the matter, and his stomach jerked when he saw her kneeling on the ground, building some sort of Lego contraption. The blunt alarm that registered on his face sent Richard's own heart racing and he immediately whipped around, searching for whatever Gar found so dangerous, but found nothing.

"What?" he demanded, turning back around anxiously. "What is it?" It crossed his mind that perhaps it was just the shock of seeing his ex lover, but that didn't fit his old friend's personality - he used jokes to get out of situations like this.

"What is she doing?" Gar retorted, accusing eyes flickering back to Richard. "Why is she on the ground? Are you _trying_ to-"

Svelte as ever, Raven rose and approached them. "Why don't we go outside?" she suggested, but gave them no time to respond before she pushed them back from the doorway and shut it behind her.

"You look sick," Gar said, sounding sick himself.

"She is sick," Richard replied, grimacing.

Awkward silence followed before Richard finally broke it, calmer now. "What were you saying? About her being on the ground?"

Gar pinned a confused, almost angry look on the subject of their conversation. "You didn't _tell _him?"

"Telling him wouldn't have done anything but made him paranoid. Like you," she added.

"Tell me what?" Richard demanded, hating himself for the traces of jealousy that burned at his chest over the prospect of them sharing some sort of secret.

"Nothing," Raven soothed. "Don't worry about it."

"'_Don't worry about it_?'" Gar demanded incredulously. "Why shouldn't he worry about it? It's his fault-"

"Would one of you just fucking tell me already?" Richard snarled, now both jealous _and_ frightened. "Spit it out! What don't I have to worry about? What's the matter?"

"Don't," Raven warned, but the green-haired changeling ignored her.

"The scarring, didn't she tell you about the scarring?"

Richard's brows drew together in confusion. "Yes, she told me there was scarring. That it would make it - _difficult_ to carry the child to term."

Gar pinched the bridge of his nose, a vain attempt to block out the stress. "Tell him, Raven," he finally said, tired of the situation already. "Just tell him."

She leaned back against the door, staring at him for a long, considering for a moment before looking back at Richard. "There's a spot at the top of my uterus - the scarring there has made it very rough, and it's likely that the placenta can't attach itself."

Richard stared, uncomprehending, and in his frustration Gar decided to fill in the blanks.

"Any upward or downward motion puts stress on it," he snapped. "If it detaches any more than it already is, it'll be ripping connected flesh and-"

"She'll bleed," Richard interrupted, his eyes closing. The instinct he'd been fighting for five months to stick her in a bed and tie her there was suddenly roaring in his ears, his heart thumping painfully. And as he digested this new information, every single time he'd seen her kneel or lean down or bend over was swimming through his mind. "That's why you're sick," he finally said, his voice void of emotion. He opened his eyes, staring harshly at her. "Is that why you're sick?" he demanded when she gave no response.

"Yeah," she murmured. "That's why. The fetus is big enough now that my body correctly registers the unattached section as a problem, and it's trying to heal it."

"But it can't," Richard said flatly. "Because it's not attached to begin with. So it's just - _draining_ you."

All three remained silent, and he fought himself, hard. He fought not to just scream, he fought not to break something, and most of all, he fought not to absolutely and perhaps irrationally hate her.

"And even knowing this," he said, his voice under steely control, "even knowing this, you still bent down to pick up things you'd dropped, or knelt to pet Guard, or played with Caden on the ground."

"I know you're angry," she began slowly, "but on that matter, you both really are just paranoid. Truly," she interrupted both of their objections. "In another month, maybe not, but right now the baby weighs less than two pounds. It's not putting any significant stress on anything even when I do lean down."

"So you were planning on telling me in another month?" Richard snapped. "Or were you planning on figuring it out the hard way?"

"I didn't even expect to make it this far," Raven retorted, mouth drawn in anger. "So if you're angry because I didn't let you in on it, fine, continue to be. I stand by my decision. There's nothing you could have done and you'd simply have had a heart attack every time I lifted my foot to go up the stairs."

Gar stood there, motionless and saying nothing through their exchange, until finally he decided it was time to exit. "I'm going to go inside," he told them, and when both glanced at him in a mixture of shock and warning, he chuckled humorlessly. "I know. The reason you wanted the three of us to talk was about Caden. We can all tell him together tomorrow," he said, exhausted by now. "It's too late tonight and we're all too stressed." With that, he opened the door and took his leave, leaving the two lovebirds in silence.

"You still should have told me," Richard said quietly, calmer now that one issue was out of the way. He moved to stand in front of her, one hand sliding slowly over her abdomen where the child in question rested. He slowly lowered his forehead to her shoulder and she rubbed his back, staying that way for several silent minutes.

"I'm sorry," she finally sighed, a rarity in and of itself. "I don't regret not telling you, but you're right. I should have."

He lifted his head and removed his hand, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her to his chest. "Is it safe yet? If it was born now, would it - survive?"

She pressed her lips to his chest and then shook her head. "No," she murmured. "He wouldn't."

It took Richard a moment to get over the pain of the implication before he gasped at what else she'd said, pulling back to look at her face. "He? It's a he? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," she said, a small smile slowly spreading across her face. "It's been about a week since I figured it out. Do you want to... see him?"

His brows shot up. "What? See him? I can't, he's still..." he trailed off as he felt her touch his mind, their long-unused bond repairing itself almost instantly. A bit rusty, he at first followed her guide hesitantly, but before long it was second nature - he allowed her to bring his own consciousness into hers, following whatever path she took him on until he saw him. To his surprise, it did look like a actual baby - at least for the most part. His skin was perhaps a little more wrinkly, but had fully defined - _beautiful_ - features, even tiny, dark hairs. However, it was only a moment before he noticed the inevitable. His "eye" was drawn to the place on the placenta that was obviously not attached, as it caved in very, very slightly and glowed with the faint dark magic he knew to be Raven's body automatically and futilely attempting to heal it. He looked away, not wanting to see it any more, but now that he was looking for imperfections, he found more of them. The baby was tiny, much smaller, it seemed, than it should have been. Had she said less than two pounds? He looked less than one. And, finally, the elephant in the room that he had missed until he was looking for it: the baby was breech.

The shock severed their bond immediately, and he found himself stumbling back into his own mind, gasping for breath as he fought the urge to vomit.

"Richard," Raven said sternly, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Richard, calm down. He's only at 25 weeks, babies are still moving around a lot at that point. He can still turn."

He took a step back, running a hand through his hair and then down his face. "Oh, my God."

"Richard!" Her voice was slightly snappish now. "Calm _down_. Most don't turn until 28 to 32 weeks. And he might be able to turn even later, he's so small-"

"_You_'_re_ small," he countered. He was going to be sick. "You're small, too, and you're different. Caden turned at 21 weeks and didn't move after that."

"That was extremely early, and he was a very, very large baby," Raven reminded him, trying to remain calm; at least one of them had to be. "This one could probably keep turning back and forth for months. Don't you remember? We read about this in all of those baby books. Some babies don't turn until hours before they're born, even."

"We don't have that long. We don't have months. We might not even have _weeks_. You can't deliver breech, your pelvis-"

"Is still larger than our son is at the moment," she assured him frankly. "You saw how little he is. There's no danger of him not fitting. The problem is if he doesn't grow."

Richard shuddered, the panic mostly passed but the anxiety still very much present. "How much longer can you carry him?"

This, she hesitated over. "I don't know," she admitted. "I expected the placenta to break away on its own, but it's perfectly attached except for that one spot. However long it can stay that way, I guess - and then however long my body can sustain him."

"Which is how long?"

"Well - there's no sign of anything ripping. And he's small, so it doesn't take much to keep him going."

"It's the scarring," he muttered, making the connection. "That's what's using up the energy. And that's probably why he's so small."

She nodded once.

"You need to start steroids," he told her. "The faster he develops, the better. We'll ask Vic about it tomorrow." He kissed the top of her head, calm now. "And you need to sleep."

"What? No, Kori's still not here."

"You can see her in the morning," he said, his voice lowering to plead with her. "Sleep. Please."

She sighed and nodded once, and he opened the door to let them both inside, bypassing the sight of Gar playing with Caden to escort her to bed.


	22. Darkest Side of Me

It was the conversation going on around her that kept Raven between sleep and consciousness, rather than lapsing back into the former.

"Is friend Raven awake _now_?" a familiar high voice asked from a few feet away, probably the doorway of their bedroom.

"No, Kori," Richard answered as patiently as he could. Considering that he was the most tolerant of the others' personalities out of all five of them, the fact that it was wearing thin probably meant she'd been at this for a while.

"When will she awaken?" the alien princess asked eagerly.

"I'm not sure. Soon, maybe," he said to placate her.

"Perhaps I could simply wake her up for a _moment_ to say hello, and then she could go back to her sleeping?" she suggested hopefully.

A loud sigh from her former team leader. "She needs rest, Kor, sorry. I'll let you know as soon as she's up."

The door shut but Raven's eyes were open now, still dazed from sleep. "What time is it?" she asked groggily.

Richard jumped in surprise, then swore. "Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up."

"Mmm." She sat up in the bed, noting immediately how cold it was outside of the covers compared to in them. "What time is it?" she asked again.

He crawled back into bed next to her, leaning against the backboard and putting his arm around her. "Still early enough for you to sleep."

Irritated by how much of a response that wasn't, she leaned around him to glance at the alarm clock. "_Noon_?" she demanded. "You let me sleep until _noon_?"

"You were tired," he reminded her. "And there's a lot going on today."

"Ugh." She pulled away from him and went straight to the bathroom, peeling her clothes off as she did so and immediately hopping into the shower.

Richard lifted a brow and chuckled, picking up her deposited garments and throwing them - along with his own - into the hamper before climbing into the shower with her.

She barely acknowledged him, already in the midst of shampooing her violet hair, but it wasn't lost on him that the water was piping hot.

"Guess you noticed that it snowed last night," he observed, wrapping his arms around her and resting them over her navel.

"No wonder it was so cold," she said miserably.

He laughed and lifted the bottle of the condition, spouting a small amount on top of her head and massaging it into her scalp. She settled contently into the feeling, allowing the water to rinse most of it out before she turned around to face him, looping her arms around his neck.

"Still tired?" he asked mischievously, and she didn't even bother to reply before pressing her lips to his.

He turned immediately, setting her up against the wall and lifting her legs to his waist. "Kori's waiting," he breathed against her lips, bright eyes locked with hers.

"So am I," she retorted impatiently, reaching a hand down between them and running it along his shaft. The effect was immediate - he inhaled abruptly, eyes closing for a moment before he removed her hand and rather unceremoniously entered her.

The gasp was hers, now, her hands tightening at the backs of his shoulders as he thrust, slowly at first and then - more characteristic of their lovemaking - much faster. She writhed against him, nails scratching at his skin and her rounded belly pressed against his torso. He groaned loudly, kissing her to keep from doing so again, when suddenly he felt her slacken against him and pulled back.

"Raven?" he asked, at first curious and then alarmed. He lifted her chin and saw that she was, in fact, alert, but she was largely unresponsive. It was the pink of her cheeks that gave it away and he cursed, his arm reaching out and instantly turning off the water. She'd overheated.

He yanked the shower curtain open to let cool air in and lowered her slowly to the ground, leaning her against the wall. "Thanks," she sighed, black spots still obscuring the majority of her vision.

Strangely, he found it funny, and even laughed, though there was a degree of shame there, too. This was something he should have remembered - the reason Raven always kept her room so warm was so that she could take lukewarm showers without being cold. Heat made her dizzy.

"Looks like someone got a little too turned on," he teased wryly, and she swatted at him.

"Your fault," she grumbled, steady again. She pulled him to the floor with her and that was where they finished, then lay there for several minutes.

"We should relocate," he finally said, but neither made any move to do so.

"I love you," she said instead, and he grimaced.

"Whatever it is you're thinking about, stop," he commanded gently, running a hand down her cheek. She turned to look at him, brows drawn together, and he pressed a kiss where his hand had been. "You only get sentimental like that when you're thinking about something awful."

"Hmm," she acknowledged, rubbing the swell of her stomach absentmindedly.

"We should think about names," he said softly, and at this she stiffened.

"I'm going to go get dressed." She stood up, careful not to slip on the wet marble floor of the shower, and he scowled.

"Raven," he said, standing up as well. "We can't just not name him until he's born."

"We can name him when there's a feasible chance of survival," she muttered, and he watched her exit the bathroom.

* * *

"Steroid injections," Victor repeated thoughtfully, setting Bonnie down on the ground to run after her mother. "I'm not sure, guys."

"What's the problem?" Richard asked, already nervous.

"Well, you've got the right idea, his organs have got to develop if he's going to survive - but steroids are usually given during labor. At the very most, no more than a week before anticipated delivery." He rested a hand at the back of his neck. "You think it'll be that early?" From the sight of her, he believed it - but that didn't make the concept any easier for him to digest.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I don't have any idea. It could be tomorrow-" Richard inhaled sharply, "-it could be two months from now. I just don't know, Vic."

"What would happen if you gave her the shot and she didn't deliver?" he wanted to know.

"That's where it gets tricky," Victor sighed. "Give her another dose every week, maybe, but there haven't been any major studies done on such cases. It has the potential for complication."

"Like what?" Raven prompted.

"Well, there are two major ones. The first is that the injections cause an increase in your blood sugar. I'm not too worried about that since it sounds like yours has been too low, anyway, and we can treat that with insulin." He paused. "The second is an increased risk of maternal infection, which I have to say is concerning, especially with the chance of placental abruption."

She waved her hand, dismissing it. "I can fight infection. I'm built to."

"I doubt even _your_ body can fight sepsis on its own, Rae," he replied kindly.

"Well, that's what medical intervention is for," she shrugged.

"Speaking of," he said, approaching the subject cautiously, "What, exactly, are your plans? Are you planning on a home birth?"

"We may have t-"

"Absolutely not," Richard said firmly.

There was a thick pause before Victor said, "Yeah, aight, you two figure that one out. I'm gonna call in a few favors, see if I can get the injections sent here," and quickly took his leave.

Richard turned on her with a vengeance. "'May have to'? What? Are you insane?"

"Stop and think about this for a second, will you?"

"I think I'm the only one who _is_ thinking about it! Do you have any idea what you're saying? You could bleed out. You could _die_. The baby is premature, he could die. And you heard what he said about sepsis, we don't even have the supplies to make a room sterile, much less help you if something-" he cut off his own train of thought. "And you want to do it _here_?"

"I didn't say I wanted to, I said we may _have_ to," she corrected. "You were the one who said we couldn't leave the house, that's why you called them in. So how do you plan on getting to a hospital?"

"We'd figure something out if we had to. More than likely, Slade's just using a scare tactic. He'll do whatever he's going to do within the next couple of days and then he'll disappear again for a few months, that's been his game for a year now."

"That would be great," Raven agreed. "But what if he doesn't? Or what if something happens _during_ those few days?" She shook her head. "I could go into labor right at this very minute, and then what would you do?"

"I don't know," he said, frustrated and helpless. "So don't, okay? Let's just take it easy, wait it out. In a few days, we'll have you admitted. After the shots, he should be fine and ready. You can have a Caesarean and all of this will be over. Just a few days."

She nodded once.

"In the mean time," he continued, "you need to eat and sleep and not do much else. After you went to bed I did some research, and 3/4 of all babies born at 25 weeks survive. If we can just get him up to a normal size, and then with the steroids..."

She got onto her tiptoes and kissed his jaw. "You've got to relax."

"This isn't really a laid-back situation, Raven."

"Stressing out about it will only make it worse," she advised. "Relax."

"You're not." He ran a hand down her back, settling it in the middle and snaking it around to her waist.

"I'm pregnant." She pinched him and took off down the stairs to greet Kori and Caden.

Not even Kori could compete with the energetic child once she entered the room. "Momma!" he called out, dashing over for his good morning hug, and the ever-growing ball of fur he called his dog came barreling after him.

"Have you been behaving yourself?" she wanted to know.

"No," he said with an impish grin, and then he very slowly put both of his small hands over his belly. "Hi, baby," he whispered uncertainly, still not entirely at ease with the concept but clearly embracing it.

Gar grimaced and looked away, but Raven felt her own eyes beginning to well up, a sensation she swallowed down immediately; she rarely cried and would upset the children if she did. Instead, the newly-replaced lightbulb in the kitchen found itself shattering for the second time in two days.

As Richard walked down the stairs to see what the commotion was about, she took this as life's cue to get what was about to happen over with. "Could you guys step out for a little while?" she requested quietly of her fellow teammates, and the three of time quickly grabbed Bonnie and took their leave, Karen promising to explain to Kori once they got to the gym.

"I'll be the one to tell him," Raven informed the two men quietly. "I'm the only one he'll believe." And with that she leaned down, taking her son's hand in hers. "Will you come sit with Mommy on the couch? I want to talk with you about something," she explained, leading him over there. He promptly crawled into her lap, leaning his head against his chest; Richard took a seat on the other end of the couch and Gar stood behind him.

Almost immediately, the boy began to fidget. "Am I in trouble?" he asked.

"You're not," she assured him, mind racing as she tried to figure out how to do this. "Do you remember what I told you about mommies and daddies?" she asked.

"They love their babies a _lot_," he responded sagely.

"That's right. But did you know other people can love the babies, too?" Perhaps to conceal her own anxiety, she began running her fingers through his hair.

Caden's eyes grew in size and he tilted his head back to look up at her. "They can?"

"That's right. Mommy loves Bonnie very much even though she's not my baby," she explained. Caden took this in with a nod of understanding until she spoke again, gesturing to Gar. "Well, that man over there is not your daddy," she said slowly, clearly. "But he still loves you very, very much, Caden."

And at this the boy froze, confused, and turned around in her lap to face her. "Not Daddy?" he asked, pointing behind him as he did so.

She nodded. "He's..." _"I don't need custody. I'll be Uncle Gar..."_ "He's like your uncle, Caden. Uncle Gar."

The weeping was sudden and intense, leaving all three adults present with heavy, guilty hearts. "Stop it," the boy sobbed, lamely hitting her chest with his small fist. "_Stop it_. Stop lying, it's _not good_ to _lie_!"

"Caden," she soothed as best as she could. "Remember what we just said? He loves you very much. Nothing is any different."

He turned back to look at the two men, face reddened and wet. "Tell her," he commanded. "You tell her she's lying!"

Gar's face was heating up with despair, but even so, he replied calmly. "I'm not your daddy, Caden," he told him firmly, fighting back his own tears.

"Then who?" he countered, looking back and forth between the two. "Who is Daddy? You said everyone has a mommy _and_ a daddy!"

It was at this point that Richard decided, against his better judgment, to take the lead. "I am," he said, stepping forward to squat beside them. "I'm your father."

Caden stared at him, distrustful and quiet now before he turned to his mother. "He's my daddy?"

She brushed his hair of his eyes and off of his wet cheeks. "Yes." The tears kept trickling, and she felt her own heart breaking for him. "But that just means you're extra special," she assured him. "All _three_ of us love you very, very much. Most children only have one or two." Caden's attention was on her, now, intrigued and hanging off her every word. "And you've got your Uncle Vic and Aunt Karen, and Aunt Kori, too. You're much more loved than most children are, did you know that?"

But there was still doubt in his large eyes, and he pinned them on Richard, searching for confirmation. "You love me?" he demanded.

"Of course," Richard responded instantly, but inside, the question had him flinching. Did he? Truly? He had certainly grown to care for the bubbly, intelligent child. And on a primal level, sure, he 'loved' him - he was his son. But did he love him as a parent? He couldn't be sure. He barely knew him.

For a few moments, it seemed Caden had been completely and surprisingly placated; he looked between the three adults' faces, no longer crying. And then, stunning all three of them, he turned to his mother and his face was twisted with the kind of rage that can only be born of sadness. "I _hate_ you," he told her, bottom lip quivering, and then he pushed himself off of her and ran upstairs.

Silence ensued. Raven's face was a mask of absolute shock, her mouth partially open as she stared after him. Richard had watched him run up the stares and then turned immediately to watch her, and Gar ran a weary hand down his face.

"Don't freak out," he told her anxiously. "All kids tell their parents they hate them. They don't understand-"

"He's never said that before," she rebutted, and it looked like she was the one about to cry now. "He's _never_ said he hated me, not once." She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them, muttering, "Though he has every right to now."

"Stop. Raven," he put his hands on her shoulders, "stop. This is _not_ your fault. It's mine. He doesn't hate you, he's just upset." He shot a helpless look at Gar, his rival now strangely an ally in this awful situation.

Gar, deeply immersed in his own emotions, hesitated to offer any comfort - but a glance over at her and he caved. "He's right," he told her, struggling with what he was allowed to say. "You know him, we both do, and we both know he doesn't hate you. There is _nothing_ you could do to that child to make him hate you. He loves you more than anything."

Unfortunately, that knowledge both relieved her and guilted her further, and Gar gave up. "I'm going to go see him. I'm probably the one he needs to talk to," he said, and with that, he left.

Richard rubbed her back, at a loss. "It'll be fine. It'll work itself out, you'll see." He hoped.


	23. Hold On Tonight

"Will you stop hovering?" Raven snapped over a glass of water.

Richard considered. "No," he replied, "probably not."

She gritted her teeth and rubbed her temples, thoroughly irritated with life in general by that point - and unfortunately for the boy wonder, it manifested itself in irritation with him.

"I'm not kidding," she told him, jaw ticking. "Leave me alone. You've been following me like a puppy for two days now and I'm about ready to push you down a flight of stairs."

He opened his mouth to deliver some form of clever retort when a certain alien princess appeared. "Friend Raven," she began, somewhat hesitantly, "I was wondering if you might want to do the painting of the toenails." She looked at Richard as if asking for permission, which peeved Raven further.

"I would love to," she said with a tad too much enthusiasm for someone who cared so little for such mindless acts of vanity. "Why don't we get Karen, too? The three of us can have a girls-only night in."

Richard stiffened and shot her a warning look, which Raven ignored.

"What a marvelous idea!" Kori declared, oblivious as she flew from the room to collect their fellow female.

"Raven," Richard sighed.

"I know you've got some weird, manly urge to follow me around and protect me from pillow cushions and refrigerators," she said, "but I'm my own person and I need time alone. You're driving me insane, Richard."

"I just want to make sure nothing stresses you out," he protested softly.

"I know," she said, gentler this time. "But right now _you're_ stressing me out. You're just reminding me of what's going on. I need a break. We're going to be in one of the guest rooms, it's not like I'm planning on leaving the country."

'What's going on,' of course, referred to the fact that her - their - son hadn't spoken a word to her in two full days. Gar's attempt to calm him down had been successful, but even still, he refused to speak. He'd spoken to Bonnie while playing with her and once or twice to Karen and Kori, respectively, but the three subjects of his anger and even Victor had been subjected to absolute silent treatment. And though Raven was trying to be good and patient, Richard saw straight through it and to her irrational fear that her child genuinely loathed her and would never speak to her again.

"All right," he said at length, albeit after a few moments more of hesitation. "I'll try to talk to him while you're in there, maybe."

He wouldn't respond, that much they both knew. And when he failed, Richard would instead either choose to hang out with his former teammates - unlikely since one was his girlfriend's ex husband and the other hated his guts - or go back to their room and obsess over why it had been three days since they'd received Slade's 'note' and still nothing had happened.

As expected, that was exactly what happened, until Raven and the other girls emerged a couple of hours later in matching red toenails. Raven wiggled hers doubtfully, still not used to it.

"Did you have fun?" Richard asked, visibly relieved to have her in his line of sight once more.

"Nail polish smells terrible," she muttered, but none the less seemed considerably more content than she'd been before going in. A social creature she most certainly was not, but that didn't mean she couldn't benefit from time spent with female friends every once in a while. "Any... news?"

He grimaced. "None." More and more, his own words days earlier were echoing in his ears. _"Just a few days..."_ It was like Slade had heard him and was deliberately taking longer.

She nodded, having figured as much - if there'd been any new developments, he'd have come straight to tell them, not let them carry on with their gossip and nail painting.

"How are you feeling?" he finally asked to break the rounded silence.

"Fine," she said honestly. "Still tired, but fine. Vic was right, it didn't really adversely affect me." She rubbed the spots on her arms where the two injections had been administered, fully healed by now.

"Is it... working?"

She nodded. "It's a bit disorienting. It seems like every time I check, he's a little bit bigger, organs a little bit more developed - I don't know. It's just weird. But good."

For the first time in months, Richard breathed a huge sigh of relief such that he got goosebumps on his arms. This did not escape her notice, and she couldn't help but give a very, very small smile in return, thinking back fondly to memories of her first pregnancy where he'd been similarly panicked and placated at every turn.

"What?" he asked warily. "What's got you so happy?"

"Just thinking," she mused, shaking her head. "You haven't changed much since back then. You might even be worse now."

"The situation is worse now," he reminded her, but even he was starting to smile a little. "I think we'd better stop at two."

Both stilled, trying to digest his statement. It was the first either of them had made that definitively indicated a permanent future for them, which he found sad and she was uncertain about. But despite her hesitance and the supreme lack of trust she'd been displaying for months now, she murmured, "I think I'd like a girl, too, someday. If it were ever possible."

He tried to choke back a barrage of emotion, the array of which had him confused as to what he was actually feeling. Elated that she, too, had implied a future between them; terrified at the thought of ever - _ever_ - impregnating her again; overwhelmed by his mind's attempt to process both this baby and a potential future one; and, somewhere very deep down, perhaps his own desire to father a daughter and raise a miniature version of its mother.

"Maybe someday," he consented weakly in conclusion. "If it were possible."

* * *

He felt like crying.

Richard sat on the edge of their bed, hands clenched together and his forehead resting against them as he listened to the sounds of violent vomiting from inside their bathroom. He was trying fervently to comprehend their situation and devise a way out of it, but every time he managed to get a clear line of thought, the sound of his lover heaving and weeping would drag him back into the same dark haze. Kori's voice could be heard offering words of comfort and encouragement, but slowly they became fewer and farther between until finally the retching seemed to stop, at least for the moment, and she exited the bathroom.

"How is she?" he asked, looking up at her and meeting eyes as bloodshot as his own.

"She is still... yellow," Kori responded quietly. "I do not like it."

He nodded once, running a hand through his hair. "Is she still throwing up?"

"I think there is nothing left," she responded pensively. "She has been mostly-" she searched for the word, "-gagging for much time now."

"What time is it?"

Kori looked past him to the alarm clock next to the bed and responded, "Two of the AM."

"Go to bed, Kor. I'll take over from here. Thanks."

Though she was obviously hesitant to leave, the foreigner gave in to her own exhaustion and agreed. "Please wake me if friend Raven has need of me again," she said before floating out the door and to her bedroom.

He took a breath to steel himself before entering, thinking that perhaps they were overreacting. Her skin had been rather waxy for months now - perhaps it was just more so than usual. But when he opened the door, her skin was the same blatant yellow hue that she'd woken up with two and a half hours ago. Even the whites of her eyes were slightly more pigmented than usual, and that was what erased any doubt in his mind. Jaundice.

"How are you feeling?" he asked lamely, kneeling down beside her.

"Like I'm dying," she said miserably, and he flinched instinctively but said nothing.

Richard turned to look up at Victor, who was supervising in silence but by now half-asleep against the sink counter. "What's wrong with her? Why's her liver failing?"

The half-human opened his eyes to glance at her sunken form and drew a long hand over his face. "I can't be sure."

"What do you _suspect_?"

There was a brief pause. "Mirror Syndrome," he finally said. "It's rare. I didn't expect - well, it doesn't matter. The steroids are making the fetus develop very quickly, but that doesn't mean all of his organs are developing at the same rate. My guess is his liver is a little behind. Body reads it as the liver _failing_, and Raven's body is mimicking it."

He wanted to curl up and die, to crawl into a hole somewhere and just give up. "So what do we do, then? How do we help her?"

"There's nothing," his tall friend said bluntly but not uncaringly. "I'm sorry. The only way to treat jaundice is to fix the underlying cause, and there's nothing we can do about that."

He said nothing, resisting the urge to suggest that there _was_ something they could do about it - a notion Raven would surely reject, Vic would at the very least object to given how far along she was, and he didn't truly want himself. But there was that niggling voice in the back of his mind, reminding him that she was twenty-seven full weeks along by now and had received two steroid injections, so surely it couldn't affect the baby terribly if it were delivered premature; and, after all, it would probably happen soon anyway if its mother's body wasn't stabilized.

But he did not mention this, knowing that all three of them were probably thinking it. And there was a small amount of hope that the thought brought, anyway. It was almost shocking, the degree to which she'd grown in simply two weeks. Just the day before, she'd allowed him a second glance at their child, and the difference had been remarkable. While still not nearly the size he should be, he'd grown by at least a third, his features a little more defined and his skin a little smoother.

"What's the deal, then?" he asked lamely. "What's going to happen?"

Victor took several moments before replying, trying to work it out himself. "I don't know. Of course this is putting stress on the maternal body, which could very easily prompt delivery," he admitted. "On the other hand, what we would hope for is that his liver would catch up soon and the symptoms would disappear. I'd like to see her at at least thirty-one weeks before delivery would be considered safe."

He grimaced. Four weeks? A whole month? That sounded like a lifetime to him, and all three present knew without fail that there was no way they'd make it. It was simply a matter of how far off.

And then there was the matter of them still being, for lack of a better word, trapped. "Maybe we should risk it," he said at length, hating himself for his weak words but unable to come up with a better plan. "Maybe he's gone, just wanted to freak us out. Maybe this was his plan all along. We should just go to the hospital and take our chances."

Raven lifted her cheek from the cool surface of the toilet-side to look at him. "We can't do that and you know it," she said tiredly. "The moment we set foot in the hospital, he'll have the entire thing blown up." She turned back to vomit once more and he held her hair back for her, thinking that soon he was going to be sick, himself.

"I have several friends with access to equipment," Victor suggested cautiously. "I could ask them to bring it here. It would only take a few minutes to get it all inside. Just in case - it's better to be prepared for the worst."

"No," Richard said. "No. Slade plays with minds. All it would take was a threat to their family and someone could bring in a drone or a-"

"You serious?" Vic asked, brows raised in incredulity. "Didn't I just tell you they were my friends? And you still don't trust them?"

"Would you?" he snapped. "If it was Karen, would _you_ trust someone you didn't know to come into your home with heavy machinery?"

This gave Victor pause, and his muscles relaxed in defeat. "No. I wouldn't."

He suddenly felt the tickle of Raven's mind against his and opened up to it. Though she was still busy dry-heaving, her idea made itself known in his mind, and he found himself shocked that he hadn't thought of it - but it was then followed by a second thought he _had_ considered but hadn't dared say allowed. The first: that they have the machinery delivered to the T-Tower instead, which they could move to at a later date if the opportunity arose. The second: that perhaps Slade could hear what they were saying, and so it would be best not to speak the former aloud.

He grabbed a pen and notebook and quickly scribbled both down on a piece of paper, which he then handed to Victor. The cyborg nodded once in agreement and set off to make the appropriate arrangements, while Raven and Richard remained in the bathroom until it seemed the spell had passed, at which point she crawled in bed and hoped against hope that she would wake up with skin her normal shade.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: We're nearing the end of the story, I'm afraid. With the plan I currently have laid out, only three to five more chapters, depending on how it ends up writing itself. However, on that same note, I am also considering doing a prequel to this story and, once that's finished, potentially a sequel. However, that would mean placing all of my other projects on indefinite hold, most likely until both were complete - which, given my irregular schedule, could be years from now. Is this something that would interest you? Let me know in your review.


	24. Waiting

After a week and a half of struggling through uneven development and the resulting jaundice, finally, one morning they woke up at a normal time of morning - no vomiting, no nausea, and her skin was still vaguely the color of old parchment, but nothing like the golden-yellow color she'd been sporting previously.

It was Raven who rose first, surprisingly pleasantly, and that was what tipped her off to the change. A look at her arms confirmed her suspicion, and with a gasp of delight, she shook Richard awake.

Despite how fatigued he surely was by now, his eyes opened immediately and he was upright in bed seconds later. "Are you sick?" he asked, cotton-mouthed with sleep but alert. "Come on, I'll help you to the-" he cut himself off, eyes widening with shock when he noticed the reversion to normality in her complexion. He stared only another moment or so to make sure he wasn't seeing things before he closed his eyes, murmuring a prayer of thanks.

For the first time in the better part of two weeks, Raven felt well enough to actually think of _him_ instead of herself, and she regretted waking him up. He, too, had grown pale, with light purple half-circles underneath his eyes only sticking out more obviously for it. She wondered guiltily how she hadn't noticed. "Go back to sleep," she said, brushing his bangs gently out of his eyes. He could use a hair cut, too, she mused.

He lifted his hand and placed it over hers, holding it to his cheek without opening his eyes back up, and for several tender seconds they stayed that way.

"Go back to sleep," she instructed again, and now he did open his eyes, releasing her hand as he did.

"I'm already awake. Let's call Vic in here, see if this is for real." He leaned over to grab the newly-refurbished T-communicator and spoke briefly into it, receiving a groggy "on my way" in response.

It seemed like only minuted later that Victor had confirmed the news: the jaundice had reversed. It was unclear whether there would be permanent long-term damage to her liver, as he didn't have the proper medical equipment to determine that, but it wasn't particularly worrying, not with her body's ability to fix just about any problem it were unfortunate enough to be faced with.

"I can have the next shot, then, right?" Raven prompted. She hadn't received a shot since the first round; with a liver already in the midst of failure, they didn't want to put anything else into her bloodstream.

Her mechanical friend frowned and considered. "I'm still not certain it's a good idea," he admitted. "I don't want to set it off again. But..."

"But?" the two spoke in unison.

"But you're probably in the clear, and it could help quite a bit, I think. So yes, I'll give it to you."

In the five minutes it took to get the syringe ready and the injection over with, it seemed every other member of the household had lined up outside the door, with Caden at the forefront - and the moment his uncle opened the door, he went flurrying inside, throwing himself on the bed and locking his small arms around his mother's neck as he cried.

"I'm sorry," he wailed, and Raven began to cry with him. "I don't hate you, so please can I be allowed to see you again?"

"Of course you can," she replied, repeating it several times for good measure over the sound of his sniveling. Cue taken, everyone except Richard filed out, though Gar lingered just a moment longer than everyone else to watch the two of them before he, too, left.

She held him for a good ten minutes while he sobbed until he fell asleep there, right against her chest, as Richard silently watched. One he was definitely out, he carefully removed his grasp of her and laid him beneath the comforter.

"I told you he doesn't hate you," he said kindly, and Raven just sniffled, eyes still rimmed red. "Try to calm down," he added kindly.

"Sorry," she mumbled, running a hand through her tousled hair in a rare display of unguardedness. "I just - that whole time, I just kept wondering what he would do if something were to, you know, happen."

"Stop. I don't want to talk about that." He said the words sharply, but when he realized he was potentially cutting off one of the few moments where she willingly opened up to him, he hesitantly amended: "What do you mean?"

She glanced at him uncertainly before bluntly admitting, "I didn't want to die with the last words he said to be being that he hated me. And I didn't want to die knowing he would be left with no one he could accept as a parent. He's so young."

"You were never going to die," he reassured her softly. "We would not have let that happen."

She shrugged. "It's a moot point now. It's over and he's talking to me again."

Richard considered this but said nothing, instead asking, "Have you checked on- him? Since the jaundice started?"

She shook her head. "No," she said, "I haven't. I was too scared to. Do you want to see?"

He shook his head this time, cowardly admitting to himself that he was also too afraid.

But Raven seemed to accept this without question, understanding the feeling herself, and offered, "Well, give me a moment, then." She closed her eyes and though her body remained still, it was like he could see her retreat into herself, traveling the length of her own body to check on their unborn child. It seemed to take forever and simultaneously it was frighteningly soon before she opened her eyes again, but she didn't look upset - rather, a small smile adorned her face now.

"Good news?" he asked, unable to keep the eagerness out of his voice.

She nodded once. "It's - well, it's amazing, really. He's the size he ought to be, at least. Maybe a little bigger."

"Are you surprised? Isn't that what the steroids were supposed to do?"

"Well, yes, but I wondered - I wasn't sure how well they'd work when I was spending most of every day vomiting or sleeping."

"Will he-"

"I wish you wouldn't ask," she sighed. "I don't know. I can't say for certain one way or the other whether he could live. It depends on the circumstances." When he looked crestfallen, she appeased him by quietly mentioning, "It's definitely a good chance now. I'll tell you if I learn anything more."

He nodded, trying to accept this. "The..." he trailed off, realizing he wasn't supposed to mentioned such things out loud, and instead scribbled it down on paper: _The equipment is all installed in the T-tower._

She bobbed her head once in acknowledgment, clearly still trying not to think too far ahead when the future was still so uncertain. "Nothing from Slade, still, I presume?" she asked lamely.

"Nothing," he responded, grimacing. "Maybe we got lucky and someone killed him off."

The abrupt appearance of an arrow with a plunger instead of a tip stuck to the window disproved this theory, and made it unquestionably clear that somehow, someone out there could hear everything they were saying.

* * *

It was like the house itself was holding its breath. The things that were going right seemed to be in direct balance with the things that weren't, and it felt entirely plausible that a single sentence could tip the scale.

33 weeks - somehow, impossibly, she'd made it to 33 weeks gestation. Since she'd hit 30, she'd been permanently confined to their room, with most of that time to be spent on her side in bed. Only days earlier, she and Victor had come to a confirmed consensus: if she were to deliver now, it would almost certainly live. Her steroidal shot at 32 weeks had been the last she would receive, as the baby would no longer need it. In fact, at present he was following the pattern of his brother before him, and happened to be slightly _larger_ than average, weighing in at a couple ounces short of five pounds, a very, very good thing considering with every passing day it became more and more likely that he'd be making his appearance. His lungs had developed enough for him to be able to breathe unaided in open air for at least a brief period of time if absolutely required, and he was moving actively now, such that occasionally it could be seen on the surface of Raven's rounded abdomen.

But that was just the good news.

The bad news was that even after months of this, Slade had yet to do _anything_ except occasionally remind them that he was there. The house was under permanent lock-down now, including rows of retractable steel bars lining every window and door and slats of steel reinforcing the walls. There was still enough food stocked to feed them all comfortably for another couple of weeks, but after that they would begin running short, and that was a very frightening thought. With the baby's size, despite the movement being a good sign, it was also becoming hazardous. He had enough bulk to tug things around, and twice already she'd spotted after particularly rambunctious episodes, a grim reminder of the area where the placenta remained detached. And worse yet, for all of the rolling and punching, not once had the child shifted downward. It remained breech, and with its growing size, the concept of it reaching full-term was actually becoming a negative one.

They all were clinging half-heartedly to the hope of Slade doing whatever he planned to do soon so that they could leave the cursed place, but though no one said it, it seemed unlikely.

And then there was the matter of Caden, who still generally refused to acknowledge Gar or Richard's existence, even a month and a half after he'd become aware of his heritage.

But Richard chose to focus on the good rather than the bad, only allowing the fear to creep in when it was late at night and the rest of the house slept; this was when he ran through every emergency scenario he could think of, trying desperately to assure that all of them would result in everyone coming out of this alive. Tonight was such a night. Suppose they were to run out of food? Someone would either have to slip out - no, that wouldn't work - or try to instigate something... which also probably would not work. It was six in the morning before he decided that he would have to think about it the next night and get a few hours of sleep before the rest of the house woke up, but just as he was settling in for it, he noticed that Raven was already awake, strange for how much she'd been sleeping lately.

"You're up early," he said through eyes that were only partially open.

"You're up late," she countered, brow furrowed in concern.

He brushed it off. "Just one of those nights. What about you?"

She shrugged, running her fingers absentmindedly across the swell of her stomach. "A little... uncomfortable."

He chuckled. "Do you have to pee again?"

"Very funny," she grouched, swatting at him. "No, not that."

He slipped his arm behind her neck lazily, cupping her shoulder with his hand. "Then what?"

"I'm not sure. It's weird. Kind of crampy." She'd strongly considered not mentioning it at all, knowing Richard to make huge deals out of nothing, but had ultimately decided that if it _were_ to end up being anything of substance, it was better for him to know.

But, of course, he reacted exactly as expected, eyes all the way open now. "Crampy?" He pulled his arm back and turned himself to look at her. "What do you mean, crampy? Like contractions?"

"No, like cramps," she said dryly. "Like there's a baby pressing down on everything he can manage to, and it's making me a little crampy."

He stared at her, eyebrows knit.

"It's nothing abnormal. Honestly."

"You can't sleep?"

"I woke up and stayed up to make sure there was nothing wrong. Now I'm going to sleep, and you should, too." With that, she did as she said and closed her eyes, but he failed to follow along, and instead watched her closely for several hours until she woke up for good.


End file.
